THIS IS HOW I BECAME BALD. MY FATHER WAS THE BEST DAD EVER AND TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE A MAN! AS SOON AS WE GOT HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL AFTER I WAS BORN, HE IMMEDIETLY TAUGHT ME HOW TO MOW THE LAWN! THE LAWNMOWER CUT MY HAND, SO I FOUGHT IT BACK. IT ENDED UP LEAVING ME PERMANENTLY BALD, BUT THAT LAWNMOWER AND I ARE LIKE BROTHERS! I TRIED TO DO THAT WITH MY STANKY STEPDAUGHTER, BUT SHE CALLED CHILD SUPPORT! WHAT A BITCH
IVE SEEN THIS MANS DICK! ITS FUCKING HAIRY! MY BALLS ARE BALD! NO RESPECT TO THIS MAN WHATSOEVER! I HOPE I GET TO CHANCE TO CUT ALL THAT HAIR OFF THAT DICK! WANNA KNOW WHY? CUZ IM THE BALD MAN
FUCK THIS MAN! HE ALWAYS WEAR A HAT AND WANTS TO PRETEND TO BE ME WHEN WE ALL KNOW HE HAS HAIR? IF HE KEEPS IT UP ILL MAKE HIM BALD! WANNA KNOW WHY? CUZ IM THE BALD MAN
WHO DOES THIS GUY THINK HE IS? HE WAS BY FAR MY LEAST CASTAWAY THIS SEASON! IF HIM AND I WERE SITTING ACROSS FROM EACH OTHER, I WOULD SHAVE HIM BALD! WANNA KNOW WHY? CUZ IM THE BALD MAN
