THIS IS HOW I BECAME BALD. MY FATHER WAS THE BEST DAD EVER AND TAUGHT ME HOW TO BE A MAN! AS SOON AS WE GOT HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL AFTER I WAS BORN, HE IMMEDIETLY TAUGHT ME HOW TO MOW THE LAWN! THE LAWNMOWER CUT MY HAND, SO I FOUGHT IT BACK. IT ENDED UP LEAVING ME PERMANENTLY BALD, BUT THAT LAWNMOWER AND I ARE LIKE BROTHERS! I TRIED TO DO THAT WITH MY STANKY STEPDAUGHTER, BUT SHE CALLED CHILD SUPPORT! WHAT A BITCH