cat valentine
1. Shy Sheila is so shy, she’s afraid to pee in public! I afraid to pee in public its cross

2.  Ugly Edna is so ugly, when she goes to the beauty parlor, they beat her face with a cucumber! I love cucumbers my boyfriend keep asking me to play hide the cucumber but he is allergic to cucumbers so how are we going to play

3. Slutty Sally is so slutty, last time I took a ride on her disco stick, I got Saturday night fever! a disco stick it like a disco ball isn't it *does cat laugh* and you can catch Saturday night fever my Nona told me so caught at our local cinema

runway: https://imgur.com/3IP0IGP

Runway: https://imgur.com/a/HRMHMe4

Today I decided to go a different direction from my last runway, which was steam punk esche and kinda puts me on a higher list, because my last look was just safe. I Invision this steampunk powerful woman leader who with a flick of her hand can get anyone burried six feet under.

runway:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1Tt0hZ8YUdGdLd646Bqj1ECjRrYn0tnb6
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1ps2siEayz3CHEgxHlTAKcIt5gkG41OVI
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1LW-SDaZ-LiEHOHYZANkdcZ0FL36o-GRl

Runway:
https://i.imgur.com/1duN46x.png
https://i.imgur.com/wZokoTF.png
https://i.imgur.com/OCOD0GD.png

I went for a kimono you better don’t runway. I feel like it’s unique and different from what everyone else will be doing. I think that the bald head helps this look stand out more and is just the finishing touch.

Dawn- And here today we have singing legend, Mariah Carey!

Mariah- Yes yes, hello dear. I'm happy to be here on America's Got Talent.

Dawn-... Mariah, your on drag race, don't you remember?

Mariah-... Uh... Yes yes. Of course. Drag Race. *Laughs and flips her hair back* With the gay men right.

Dawn- Yes girl, exactly your getting it now! We are gonna get to our questions now. Okay?

Mariah- Mhm.... *Scrolls through Twitter*

Dawn- okay... Shy Shelia is so shy she is afraid to blank in public! Mariah do you have an answer?

Mariah- Yes I do Dawn. *Puts her phone down and writes some stuff down* My answer is admit that Raini Rodriguez isn't a skinny legend at all, but a fat beaver cleaverly disguised in a Disney show. *Smiles and shows the card to the camera*

Dawn- A beaver, Mariah?!

Mariah- Yes, a beaver. I will and forever will be the original skinny legend, Raini can have her fans or whatever but she's still breaking scales across America.

Dawn- Alright Mariah, next question. Ugly Edna is so ugly, when she goes to the beauty parlor, they beat her face with blank! Mariah, please show up your answer.

Mariah- Of course of course! *Lazily snaps her fingers out toward the end of the stage. A guy runs over with a card, writing something down* Hurry up my arms getting tired.... *Snatches the card* thank you yes yes... *Clears her throat* I wrote down that Ugly Edna is so ugly they beat her face with... This notice of resignation from my current assistant. *Groans and rolls her eyes* Good help is so hard to find these days. You make your assistant take care of your dying dog and he suddenly wants to quit. Ugh.... *Shakes her head* What was the question again. I'm very distressed.

Dawn- don't worry, don't worry we can move on. The next question is Slutty Sally is so slutty, last time I took a ride on her Disco stick, I got blank!

Mariah- Uh huh ... *Looks something up on google*

Dawn-... Miss Mariah whatcha doing over there?

Mariah- Looking up clever snatch game answers.... Hold on dearie... *Hums and sings a note, as she scrolls* Okay got it. *Writes something down* I found this on that oh so good show I watch. *Holds up her card* I got LOST.

Dawn- Wait wait wait, lost? Like.... Britney Spears? She said that answer on RuPaul's Drag Race, this is Dawn's Drag Race!

Mariah- That skank was here? Ugh... *Throws her card* That whore is always trying to take my spotlight..... First she is a drunk mess on stage... I'm just a regular mess and people don't even talk about me anymore. *Sighs and flicks her hair back* I have to admit I'm quite over this game. *Grabs her purse and snaps at some camera people to help her out of her seat* Oh thank you.... You don't need five men... Skinny legend,don't forget. *Leaves the stage*

https://imgur.com/a/j4ZNCgj

Being the true Slut that she is, Ivonka is using this runway as an opportunity to show that body-ody-ody! She is serving sexy steampunk realness from head to toe, even including small accessories like gears used as hair ornaments.

parentheses are words spoken in mandarin

Dawn: Please welcome Kate Middleton, the duchess of Cambridge!

Hello Dawn, I’m so excited to be here!

Dawn: So how is everything going with you and William at the minute?

Good I think but people keep asking him why he married a commoner. Luckily he replied saying that he doesn’t need commanding.

Dawn: Oh that’s good.

Also he said that he would “commoner” any day.

Dawn: Ok......... good to know.

Dawn: Shy Sheila is so shy, she’s afraid to _______ in public!

*thinks about answer before writing it down* Well Dawn I said that Shy Sheila is so shy, that she is afraid to give birth in public! I went into labour on the 22nd of July 2013 to eventually give birth to Prince George. When the rest of the royal family heard, they were like, "Oh my God....what's "labor?”

Dawn: Ok thank you Kate.

Dawn: Kate, Ugly Edna is so ugly, when she goes to the beauty parlour, they beat her face with ________!

*writes down answer* Ok, I said that the beauty parlour beat her face with wedding bells! Did you hear that me and William got married!

Dawn: Yes Kate, that was ages ago.

I know but I just never want our marriage to end, that’s why I never want to hear him say  "Honey, let's take different cars tonight." We all know how that turned out for Princess Diana don’t we.

Dawn: Moving on.

Dawn: Coming you next Kate, Slutty Sally is so slutty, last time I took a ride on her disco stick, I got _______!

*no answer*

Dawn: Kate, you need to answer the question.

Oh, oh sorry I was just thinking about when Royal Mail are going to put my face on stamps that all the Englishmen won’t stop licking my backside. I hope it doesn’t make William jealous.

Dawn: Can we get back to the question now?

Oh yes I wrote that the last time I took a ride on slutty Sally’s disco stick I became pregnant.
So one time when Prince George was born me and William took him to the doctor and he said that the royal baby is 8 pounds. I was like, you can’t put a price on a child, how dare he even think of that.

*waves goodbye royally at the end*

SNATCH GAME: MILLIE BOBBIE BROWN

___________________________________

Dawn: Next up we have Cat Valentine!

Dawn: Shy Sheila is so shy, she’s afraid to ____ in public!

Cat: I efrade too pee in pubic is cross

Millie: Last night I saw a couple gays fucking behind Mcdonalds. Whipped out ma cock and pissed on those fucking faggots!
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/11/14/04/4652A7A300000578-5079787-Exciting_times_Taking_to_Instagram_earlier_in_the_month_she_told-a-53_1510634783176.jpg

Dawn: …ok , Ugly Edna is so ugly, when she goes to the beauty parlour, they beat her face with a __________!

Cat: I lov cockumbrs mye bofriend keep askng me to play hyde the cucumer but he is alirgic to cockumbers so how are we going to ply

Dawn:  Slutty Sally is so slutty, last time I took a ride on her disco stick, I got ______!

Cat: a disco stik it like a diso ball isn't it *does fucking bimbo laugh* and you can cach Saturday night fever my Nona told me so caught at our local cinema

Dawn: *Silence* ok… moving on to miss Millie Bobbie Brown

Millie: Hey Dawn! I’m really excited to be here :)

Dawn: It’s great to have you, us gays really loved Stranger Things.

Millie *glares* Us… gays?


Girls: Yes queen!

Millie: AH! FUCKING FAGGOTS EVERYWHERE! I NEED TO CALL MY AGENT *picks up phone* CAROL IM STUCK AT A TRANNY COMPETITION AND IM GONNA GET RAPED! BRING THE JEEP WE GOTTA RUN THESE BITCHES DOWN!

Mariah: Homophobic bitch!

Millie: *calms down* I hate the word homophobia… it’s not a phobia… why would I be scared of a faggot? Im not homophobic I just simply hate faggots.

https://78.media.tumblr.com/1fc72b5c14d2737f7de9e9d97e7eda9f/tumblr_ozms6oQOdC1w5jef7o2_500.jpg

Dawn: Ok Millie… we’re going to start the questions now…

Millie: Ok daddy

Dawn: Shy Sheila is so shy, shes afraid to ____________ in public!

Millie: Well with a name like Sheila, shes probably a dirty lesbo! So I wrote she’s afraid to engage in faggoty activities in public. And why, you may ask? Because ya girl Millie Bobbie B will be waiting with my engine revved up to flatten that bitch!

https://i.pinimg.com/236x/0c/3f/a4/0c3fa410ccb165456f612630ece83d52--happy-monday-millie-bobby-brown.jpg

Dawn: Is this something you do everyday?

Millie: OMG YES! I just cant live without the kick of killing a few faggots everyday. My life is so crazy! HAHA LOLO WERK QUEEN SLAY AHA! I hope Aids kills all of these peasants! AHA!

http://www.teenidols4you.com/blink/Actors/millie-bobby-brown/millie-bobby-brown-1491086881.jpg

Dawn: omg… Ok moving on! Ugly Edna is so ugly, when she goes to the beauty parlour they beat her face with __________!

Millie: Ok heres the tea. Last Wednesday I went in for a pedicure and they thought I was gonna let a fag touch me! So they probably beat that ugly bitches face with pure liquid Aids. Fuckin fags these days… always make it about themselves…

http://goss.ie/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Screen-Shot-2018-06-14-at-16.06.29.png

Dawn: oop ok moving on… Slutty Sally is so slutty, last time I took a ride on her disco stick I got __________!

Millie: I got a hot piping cup of tea to throw on a faggot!

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/db/8c/63/db8c63a21972d8e2e4e176f74262f08b.jpg

Dawn: Thank you for being here Millie!

Millie: Fuck you

https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/DW7dGEK8yTgABXZGLtIdKgjAr8g/fit-in/2048xorig/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-/2017/05/01/749/n/1922153/ab67a8175907694817e105.36476131_edit_img_image_18019874_1493652839/i/Millie-Bobby-Brown-Makeup-Tutorial.jpg

____________________________________________

RUNWAY: https://imgur.com/a/PGkOheM

So I planned to do IMVU on this race so imma see how it goes. I'm serving slutty, steampunk, Da Vinci idek realness.

Ethan: Acclaimed Taiwanese folk and ballad singer, Teresa Teng!

Teresa Teng: (What the fuck are you looking at fag?) Ni hao Ethan, wai yu so fat? You need to lose weight, or you end up like your family tree, round and DEAD. *gets tackled by Ethan* I NEED DOCTOR, ME GET CRUSHED BY HOMO ELEPHANT

1. Shy Sheila is so shy, she’s afraid to _______ in public!
Teresa Teng: Sheila is so boring and shy, she afraid to, "Sniff glue" At graduation party, I did glue with retarded classmates. Now they sniff each other butthole and sell crack. That's what happen to people who get 90% in math. American say 60% is a pass. This is why we need communism.

2.  Ugly Edna is so ugly, when she goes to the beauty parlour, they beat her face with ________!
Teresa Teng: (If you speak words like you suck dick, I'd be at home getting my pussy eaten by now, instead of being in this shitshow!) Me write.. "Baseball bat". My parent beat me with baseball bat when I no become doctor at 14. After family disown me, I suck dick for money on streets. Now my mouth more fucked up than Jacob Sartorius singing career and Misty's drag career. (Jesus isn't here to save us now!)

3. Slutty Sally is so slutty, last time I took a ride on her disco stick, I got _______!
Teresa Teng: I write, "allergic reaction". I very very allergic to shrimp, and when I blow shrimp, me foam at mouth. I very sad. (Oooh, oooh, oooh, little girl with a big dream // She loved sex, the taste of shrimp made her eased // But tragically she had a allergy, the smelly pi-i-i-imp // Oh my god someone get a doctor! She loved the taste of shr-i-i-i-imp)

Ivonka Slut as James Charles:

1. Shy Sheila is so shy, she’s afraid to _______ in public!

Answer: Sister Shop
Explanation: Sister Sheila over there is a big girl and she's a little bit self conscious so she avoids letting people know that her dress size is.... *whispers* XXXXL *GASP*
http://68.media.tumblr.com/c15b7a01451a085b6140172a6fe40055/tumblr_oi5ddmM1HH1rosb88o1_1280.gif

2.  Ugly Edna is so ugly, when she goes to the beauty parlour, they beat her face with ________!

Answer: Use code James for 10% off!
Explanation: Sister Edna is not the most attractive, but don't worry girl, I have 10% off every beauty product, any for you. Use code James for beauty products from WALGREENS, NINTENDO, and APPLE! (The joke is that they're not actual beauty products)


3. Slutty Sally is so slutty, last time I took a ride on her disco stick, I got _______!

Answer: Sisterpes
Explanation: You've probably heard of it before... Sisterpes! This bitch got me INFECTED! As soon as I rode that disco stick, I just felt a sharp burning in my kit kat and I knew it was Sisterpes. Not too long after, Sister Sally was found anonymously murdered! I have no idea what could've happened to her! (Sisterpes is a play on Herpes)