Wow wow wow! I have to say that I am VERY impressed with both of these submissions tonight, and I honestly could see myself going to either one (notice how the quality of submissions immediately increases with my inclusion Will). Also, you all actually worked as a team, so props to you on that! I was going to grill you on teamwork, but I can just judge the final product. So, let’s get to team critiques:
YELLOW: Hello my mellow yellows! I think this was a solid submission, but I think there were areas of improvement. My biggest praise with this tournament is that I LOVE the teams. Every one of them feels totally unique and holds their own place in the tournament, and I would be really interested to see their banter during timeouts (The Hag teaching Madonna on tips on how to have more vitality, DaddyDev recommending Ms. Dolezal her bantu knot braider, Sadie calling Katie a marshmallow eating freak on a bad play, etc.) so I think you ACED that part of the presentation, and I’d be interested to see how the teams interacted throughout. Also I love a good alliteration so I’m all for “Beach Volleyball Bonanza”. As for the sponsors, they’re fine! They seem a bit random and sort of last minute, but I’m pro female-promiscuity so I’m all for Summer’s Eve. A popular Serbian volleyball player is from Bosnia, and republicans are funny so I think it works. My biggest gripe with this presentation is the venue. While I think it would be funny for Bjork to have riddle for the contestants, where would they play beach volleyball? The visual gag is there, yes, but there really isn’t any logistical place for them to play beach volleyball, or for people to watch (unless it’s a COVID situation). I think if you decided to host the tournament at the beach where they turn old, THAT would’ve been a sight to see, and makes more sense in the context of your tournament. One of the judges said this and I want to relay it to you all, that you leave a LOT of jokes out on the cutting room floor, and I think you need to make sure to have all your ducks in order before you present your final product. But you all did a great job on this mission!
RED: Hello my.. red Reds! I honestly expected you all to get blown out, and I was pleasantly surprised with your product this week! For starters, I think you all had a great idea in making the event have a theme in women empowerment. As a proud male misandrist, the AFROfuture is in feminism, so I respect all you (mostly? I think?) men for deciding to go with this idea. There were some minor grammar issues through the document, so I’d recommend looking it over before you submit though. For the positives, your venue and sponsor choices were much better than Team Yellow. To have it take place in Berlin and use already created beach volleyball courts is genius, and doesn’t require the extra leg work of Team Yellow’s venue. What I especially loved were the sponsors! I really appreciate the insight to look through my blog to get inspiration (you can get my autograph after the panel), and I’m not quite sure what money 9MUSES would contribute, but I loved those girls along with my
#VoodooKarma!, and Ms. Sheilla herself! I’m not the biggest fan of Angela Merkel, but she would cover the costs of 9MUSES and is a sensible choice with the theme in mind. For some negatives, your teams are not nearly as captivating as Team Yellow’s. They seem a bit random, and while they are “feminist icons”, I personally have a big problem with Chimamanda TERF Adichie. There are some gems (Team US/UK, Konstraka), but your teams really pale in comparison to Team Yellow. I’m also not sure who would pay Super Bowl prices for a tournament, as volleyball isn’t really that popular, but, who knows! This was a really solid submission though!
Alright I’m going to deliberate and then dramatically announce the winner in like 10 mins.
