DBK

World- Your world was quickly presented to us in detail and left no unanswered questions about what their world was about. I also enjoyed the whole split society aspect that you covered quickly but well.

Characters- The downside to your story was felt here if it was felt anywhere. We were presented with each character and given a good description. My only real issue with them was that I got little out of them, I knew what they were doing and what they were good at, but knew nothing really of their personality. But you did a good job considering you didn't use much text and were more avidly pushing the world/plot with the limited information you could give us.

Plot- It was a good, quickly presented plot. You presented all we needed to know in such a short window and were able to shove us immediately into the action. It left me with very few unanswered questions about what exactly was going on and left me interested in what was to come.

-red squiggly lines should not be ignored, this was full of typos
-you only utilized 1/3 of your words
-your characters were severely underdeveloped. All i know about them are strictly superficial details. Not a single one of them had their motives explained.
-it is a little heavy on religion, which does dock some creativity points. i love the seven deadly sins idea and all, but you shouldve done something other than Christianity and still could have kept that element. Maybe a future branch of christianity? thatd feel way more at place in a fantasy/scifi story
-ok, i dont want to sound like a feminist, but at least one of your characters could have been a woman. thatd make them appeal to a wider range of nerds. not only this, but all your characters are adult, human males. there was no creativity whatsoever, and they just arent relatable
-also, the characters have NO DEVELOPMENT. They are shockingly inadequate and i couldnt care less about them. ill talk about each one
     -Fabian- may be the most uninspired character ever written. deeply disappointed.
     -Ishmaia- actually decent idea, but again, hes severely underdeveloped
     -Dr. Fangnaer-idc, next
     -Captain Hiliadre-i take it back. Fabian isnt the worst, this guy is. i didnt remember him until i went back, despite reading twice.

-i love the 7 deadly sins element, along with the dying angels.make the angels more compelling tho, instead of just generic fairy women.
-your world is fantastic. i genuinely could see this in a novel/movie.
-not much else to say honestly. what you did well was incredible

Overall Comments! I was very harsh on both teams, but don't take it personally! I love you all, I promise!!!

Defenders of Kingswood- Overall, good job! If this was a real book you were writing then I’d recommend having them all meet before this scene. I definitely think there should have been an intro paragraph followed by a dialogue one, that’d be great. I love the characters for the most part, but sadly the plot is definitely lacking focus and clarity. Also, your overall world description was nonexistent.

Dark Bazinga Knights- Overall, you guys did very well. The world was stellar and was my favorite part of either team. The plot was definitely successful as well. Unfortunately, you fell in the character department, and you fell HARD. Your best characters were less successful than the other team’s worst. Really, really disappointing guys.

Now that we have given our thoughts it is time to announce the winner.

The winner of the Nerd War is...
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Team Dark Bazinga Knights!

Congrats guys! Can I get a link to your story!?

Winning Story:
Garoth a distant planet is split into two divided by the Eaarien Mountains which crosses Garoth from the ground to the skies. Eaarie mountain is legended to be the home of 8 angels that keep the land of Garoth intact. Both regions though merely see this as a myth. The two regions of course have never met due to the massive dividing barrior of the Eaarie Mountain Range. One of side of the mountain range is Calithil. It is somewhat primitive and less advanced than the other side Lothuial. Calithil is strongly religious and magic both light and dark are known across this forest terrainous land. Lothuial is much different to Calithill both in its ethos and minds. Lothuial is an expansive metropolitian land. Their forests slashed to almost none with huge steel buildings soaring high into the sky and science being almost the religious root. There are little to no more magic in this part as the dark arts are against the religious way of life...

...one day the lands of Garoth began to shake as the ground began splitting below them and the Eaarie mountain began to crumble towards the ground. Both lands sent two noble men to determine what was wrong at Eaarie mountain and why the main mountain was billowing thick black smoke. Calithill were rather concerned and sent two of the most promising leaders from the land. First was Ishmaia the high priest healer. Revered across the land for the ability of harnessing the energy of the trees and wildlife to communicate to the gods to protect and sustain the great land and people of Calithill. With his noble elm staff he left with the bravest and most courageous warrior in the land - Fabian. Known for his 2 foot long curved sword named Phoenix which was carved deep in the Earrien Mountains from what is known as the blacksmith of the gods. To this day he is the only one to gain entry into this prestigious place with his arrogance being no match to his success slaying the bad in Calithill...

...Calithill though were not the only ones concerned with the smoke. Lothuial sent a team to investigate also. Dr Fangnaer or Erath to his colleagues is a scientist in Lothuial. Known for his success in biomechanics and being a fantastic experimental physicist he was the perfect candidate to go and see what the issue was at the Eaarie Mountains. Of course Lothuial did not want this great man to go alone and risk his death. They sent with him Capt Hiliadre. The Captain was the descendant to Lothuial throne and also a fantastic soldier. Despite being royal Capt Hiliadre wanted to fight for his land and this bravery is what catapulted him up the ranks. He is the perfect person to look after Dr Fangnaer on this quest....

... The two pairs of men eventually would meet up on the mountain. Confused about these other beings the arrogant Fabian raised his sword and charged at Dr Fangnaer and just before the Captain would have shot Fabian an angel appeared in front of them all.
"Help us" she said weak and hurt. "I am one of the 8 Eaarien angels and our great planet of Garoth has been attacked. From the depths of darkness many beasts rose after the quake taking my sisters and emerging in the smoke to all corners of the planet". All were shocked to realize the myth actually was true and continued listening. "Named Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride this beasts if not stopped will rule our planet soon enough. Please help Garoth and help my sisters. They might still be alive but I am too weak to help"...

...The four men now united look across to the other sides of the world. Both still very confused they went all around rescuing the angels and saving Garoth. After they finally killed the final beast they returned to the Eaarie mountain. As they return the angel they had seen before had been taken by one even more devastating and horrific beast - Death.

Congratulations on your first win Dark Bazinga Knights! You did a great job today. You must all vote to send 1 nerd from DoK into the Nerd Off.

Unfortunately, for the first time, Team Defenders of Kingswood has lost. You will be sending 1 member of your own team into the Nerd Off.

Good luck! Votes due by 6 PM EST tomorrow, but please get them in ASAP!

Wow your guys story was pretty good!

haha YAY :P good job guys :)

im sure allan is campaigning against me now lol

If you send me in we will for sure get who we want out, so thanks for helping us out buddy!

and i know its no concern for you since I plan on taking you out anyways, but your teammates should be smart about the enemies they make on our team and who they let boss them around on their team

BTW my character would have had this kind of backstory, but given the limited amount of time and limit number of words we had, it wasn't implanted and I thought of some of this stuff just now too lolz.

Dr. Fangnaer is a half-elf/half-human scientist between 17-19 years old(he wasn't suppose to be real old, early 20's at most) that could use some magic given his elf background. He just  can't use a lot of magic since not many people in Lothuial knew how to use magic given a mass genocide of all elves there and he had no one to teach him how to use magic.Elves where the only people who know how to use magic in Lothuial and the humans of Lothuial saw the Elves as monsters and didn't like them using magic, which would be the reason for the mass genocide of Elves, the mass genocide would eventually end and few elves and half elves would survive most just don't know how to use magic and for them to learn magic was forbidden.

Dr. Fangnaer would had been an orphan too because of the mass genocide. His mother had been executed for being an elf and the father executed for supporting the elf's since his father was human. Fangnaer would end up with his grandfather who protected him for awhile, but his grandfather would eventually die. So he would have to raise himself since most people would see him as a monster and outcast him since he was half-elf. He would grow up to be a great scientist, but not well respected for the given reason. In the journey to see what was wrong with the mountain, most people objected to sending him for being a half elf, saying he shouldn't be trusted with the task. It was finally decided after a long dispute and he went on the journey since he was deemed the best scientist of Lothuial.

His main weapon would had been a mechanical glove that enhanced his magical abilities(it would had been kept a secret from most people, except the group he was traveling with though.) The Gloves would enhance his strength too, so instead of using magic, he could just punch someone and do a lot of damage that way.

Btw  Calithil wouldn't have any genocide and elves would be more abundant here.
Ishmaia would have had elf ancestry too, if I did the elves only had magic thing, but none of this was fully implanted in the actual story, so it's fine. Most of this stuff I just thought of now tbh. An Ishmaia could mainly be human with elven in his blood or something, like not a lot, just enough to give him magical ability. I did want to do a thing with Ishmaia teaching Dr. Fangnaer about magic and enhancing his ability as the journey progressed and I think Dr. Fangnaer would had started going by Erath too, his first name, after awhile that is since saying Dr. Fangnaer gets annoying after awhile.

That would've scored much higher haha

I'd make Ishmaia a full fledged elf though b/c he is the healer after all, and that'd explain his powers

I wasn't sure if James would want his character to be a full fledged elf though, so I wouldn't had made his character an elf.

Also that character description would had taken up to much space, given the word limit we had.