Back stage
MR. TRUTH HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT WINNING THE IC TITLE
R Truth - *Unintelligible muttering which pisses everyone off*

Backstage - Jack Semmenator
I have been told crazy things such as "rape is a crime" and that "I'm not allowed to expose myself in public" and if i ever do it again i will be disqualified and stripped of the title. You may also notice I don't have a challenger for this match tonight. I choose for it to be a six man match between myself, randy orton, the undertaker, JBL, Kane and bob. This match will be an under the bottom rope battle royal match.

Backstage-
*R Truth sings Mariah Carey songs in the bubble bath with his title to celebrate his victory*
Mark Henry walks in
MH - IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM TO BE A CRUISERWEIGHT BUT NOOOO MY MUM ALWAYS HAD TO GIVE ME THOSE DOUGHNUTS
*Tips over R Truth's bath tub*
*R Truth spills out*
*R truth's black dick slaps Mark Henry on the face*
*Mark Henry gets knocked out*
Cena - OOOOO ORGY YAY!

In the ring - GM Josh
I have decided to permanently get rid of the Job Squad Title as nobody that qualifies for the title actually realises that they are fighting for a title. I am replacing the title with the new X Division Title which is intended for competitors under a certain amount of weight. The battle royal match to determine the first champion will start now. Also I have fired Juan Cena for being a freak a nature and the Divas title will be decided between AJ Lee and Eva Marie.

Match Two - Battle Royal for the X Division Title
Curt Hawkins is eliminating people left and right because his title was taken away from him without him being told beforehand. Although Hulk broke his neck earlier Evan Bourne is competing and he eliminates Curt. When Curt hits the ground he starts yelling BROTHER over and over again then takes off his mask to reveal that he is actually Hulk Hogan. "I TOLD YOU TO CRUISER FUCKIN WAIT BROTHER" He leaps back in the ring and eliminates everybody but Rey Mysterio. Rey stares him dead in the eyes and starts to take off his mask, he reveals that he was Mark Henry and nobody realised that he swapped spots with Rey because of how fat he was getting. The ref reluctantly hands Henry the X Division Title and he says "FUCK YOU MOMMA I CAN BE WHATEVER WEIGHT I WANT TO BE" Hulk Hogan raises his hand and congratulates him on a job well done
Winner and new X Division Champion: Mark Henry

Backstage -
Interviewer-MARK HENRY CONGRADULATIONS YOU HAVE WON THE X DIVISION TITLE. IF YOU COULD SAY SOMETHIN TO YOUR MOMMA WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Mark henry - Momma, you wanted to me be a big boy to protect you from all those rapists, BUT I CAN BE WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT TO BE SO FUCK YOU
Interviewer - Well mark we have a surprise for you, your momma is here tonight
MH - WHAAAAAT
Momma mark Henry- You lil shit, what did you say about me you Fuckin ***, i goin teach yo ass a listen
*Momma mark Henry worlds strongest womens mark henry into the ground*
MOMMA - YOU DIDNT THINK I WANTED TO BE THIN, BUT WE ALL DONT GET WHAT WE WANT YOU LIL SHIT.
Momma - AND DIDNT YO MOMMA TELL YOU TO STOP HAVING THOSE ORGIES WITH WHITE BOYS. YOU KNOW IT GIVES YOU A BAD STOMACH
Momma- Im goin to take this title just to show laquisha,laquonda and la tonkia that I AM A THIN SEXY BLACK WOMAN.
*momma walks away*
*Cena sees knocked out Mark Henry*
Cena - YAY SECONDS

Match Three - Black and White Cenas vs London and Kendrick for the Tag Team Title
Black Cena is working on London in the corner of the ring and preventing him from getting a tag. He tags in White Cena and after a while London hits a dropkick and gets the hot tag into Kendrick. Kendrick leaps over the ropes and knocks Black Cena off of the ropes then ducks a clothesline from White Cena. He bounces off of the ropes and punches White Cena as hard as he can in the stomach. White Cena doesn't go down and stumbles over to his corner but Black Cena is still on the ground. He throws up all of Mark Henrys semen outside on to Black Cena then Kendrick pulls him back with a roll up and gets the pin.
Winners and still the Tag Team Champions: London and Kendrick

Backstage
Interviewer - We are backstage with Eva Marie, Eva what do you think about your sudden chance to win the Divas title?
Eva - its super unexpected I mean I only learnt how to wrestle yesterday but I'm getting a title shot
Interviewer - You only learnt yesterday? You've been under contract for over a year!
Eva - I have skilled lips
*weird noise coming from a locker*
Interviewer - The fuck's that?
He opens the locker to find Eugene furiously masturbating
Eva - WHAT THE FUCK GET OUT OF HERE
Eugene does not stop and stares Eva right in the eyes the entire time. Eva turns to run away but trips and lands on her hands and knees
Eugene - DAT ASS
Suddenly there is a violent cum explosion which would surely kill everyone inside but White Cena leaps in and catches it all in his mouth
Interviewer - Thank you based White Cena

Match Four AJ Lee vs Eva Marie to crown a new Divas Champion
CM Punk goes to the ring dressed as AJ and knocks Eva Marie the fuck out. The ref realises that it is Punk and not really AJ so Eva wins by DQ
Winner by DQ and new Divas Champion - Eva Marie

Match Five - WWE Title Match
Because Jack can no longer psych his opponents out the usual way and this is the no DQ match, he pulls a gun out and threatens to shoot everyone in the ring if they don't eliminate themselves. They all eliminate themselves except for Undertaker who says that he is the deadman and makes the lights in the arena turn off. Jack takes pot shots in the direction of Undertaker and shoots him in the arm and killing some members of the crowd. The lights turn on and he goes over to finish him off when Punk storms into the ring and pushes Jack under the bottom rope which eliminates him and knocks away the gun. He then runs out of the ring with Jack following him soon after.
Winner and new WWE champion - The Undertaker