In honour of the 2020 Tokyo Olympics currently ongoing, each song will be compared to a sport or a discipline.
01 : Raja Kumari - Firestarter : 3x3 Basketball : The sport that's recently introduced, you can see influences from the original sport, and whilst action packed, it's just not a sport I will regularly watch.
02 : Ryland James - 3 Purple Hearts : Football: Just like the sport, this song makes me feel homophobic.
03 : Samia - Show Up : Badminton : A sport I was into when I was younger, just like this song! It was on my list, it was. I imagine this song playing as the badminton finale finishes and we have a really cute moment between the contestants, looking back on their long history.
04 : Ballyhoo - Walk Away! : 50 kilometres race walk (Athletics): Apt for the title, this song feels like a 50 kilometre DRAG!
05 : Bella Poarch - Build a B*tch : 200 metres (Athletics) : The 100 metres' less cared about cousin, just like this one hit wonder. Famous for a few weeks but whose career will end up in the shadow of the bigger, more eventful races. However, when it's on, people are here to pay attention and watch who's going to break the record.
06 : Maisie Peters - Psycho : Handball : Getting creative with this one, in football, a HANDBALL is the biggest offence known in the sport, granting a penalty. The user which submitted this should receive a permanent penalty in the Tengaged Song Contest. I could tolerate the other one, this is very white terrorist Sigrid man.
07 : Joker's Belief - Stay : Table tennis : This one is just like a simple back and forth. You can see the fast potential of the players, hitting the ball back and forth with ease at such a high speed. Just like my back and forth on this song. Good production in parts, but bleh vocals. How does it mix? An elimination in the first round, I fear.
08 : Nataliya Podol'skaya - Ayahuaska : Baseball : When this sport was introduced at these Olympics, I was excited to watch it. But when it's actually on, I'm bored... I'm so bored... At least an interesting choice.
09 : Thandi Phoenix - Overdrive : Golf : I was pretty intrigued from the beginning you know, just like golf. I lose my interest, but, when we are going to have a SEVEN WAY TIE BREAKER for the bronze medal at the chorus, you caught my attention!
10 : Duckwrth - I'm Dead : BMX racing : This one is go go go straight from the beginning, has a very enticing and HYPED UP race and has the occasional chance of a devastating accident. Perfect for this song, exactly.
11 : Ma Nien Shien & 9m88 - Walking Towards Me : Weightlifting : ilovetosing is lifting the weight of TSC on their shoulders, and it's clear to see in this piece as Taiwan won a weightlifting gold... So smooth, good vocals, and DEDICATION are needed for this sport to lift the heaviest weights possible. It's a spectacle to behold, just like my multi ilovetosing.. Just like the weights, you keep picking up.
12 : Sedona - More Love : Artistic gymnastics : Purely gorgeous to look at, it's a spectacle... Exactly...
13 : LATASHÁ - GOGO WYNE : Breakdancing : THIS SONG HAS ME DANCING AND SHAKING FROM THE BOTTOM UP. FUCK YOU BITCH YOU STOLE THIS FROM ME JK YOU DIDN'T 'STEAL' BUT I'M DEVVO'D BUT GO AND WIN THIS CONTEST JUST AS YOU SHOULD BECAUSE THIS IS IT, PRECISELY, YES. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE. REVOLUTIONARY.
14 : Yola - Starlight : Taekwondo : I always liked this, but I watched it on the side. I wasn't ever fully into this sport, it was cute for the bottom right corner, but it never was my focus. You can tell the power and technique that goes into the sport though, and respect it for their credentials.
15 : LVL1 - FVN : Skateboarding : Another new addition to the Olympics this meet, you can see it's here for the girls and the gays. That's me lying but I'm trying to say that the IOC attempted to target a young audience and they knew their audience very well.
16 : Rakel Bronze - Kein Stress : Athletics : The entire sport. Yes. It's THE focus of the Olympics for so many of their fans, the SPOTLIGHT is on the contestants to perform to their highest, not break a vase and a hamstring, and to get the work DONE as fastest as possible. MILLIONS of FANS tune in to watch these athletes compete in the highest level of sport... The lights dim halfway through for some events, as if you were in a techno club, ready to have guys come and sprint at their highest speeds.
17 : Lee Suhyun - Alien : Softball : A song for our superior women, like its baseball counterpart, I'm really intrigued at the beginning but just get bored by the climax. There are good parts, and a commendable event, but not something I'll come back to.
18 : Justin Jesso, Seeb - Bigger Than : Boxing : This song gave me a bloody nose I'm not even joking I had to take a five minute pause to go clean it under cold water and with a tissue. Amazing sport, but bad song.
19 : VÉRITÉ - he's not you : Rugby sevens : I've never really liked her music, and I'm of the opinion that rugby sevens is not a highlight I will ever watch unless I absolutely have to or it's the final. Simple, isn't it?
20 : Lindsey Stirling - Masquerade : Tennis : We see this sport all the time, year round. In the Olympics, it's nothing new. Same old fucking shit. I am one for a good instrumental, but please keep yourself out of the Olympics Lindsey Stirling before you turn into a Great Britain at the rowing.
21 : Topaz Jones - Toothache : Surfing : Something that I haven't seen before competitively, but when I see it it's just perfect. This song sails the waves on the ocean in such an effective manner, like exactly. You get me? I'm so excited to see it again at 2024 in Tahiti...
22 : Karol Conka ft. Tropkillaz - Tombei : Shooting : Bang. Bang. This hits the spot, this does it perfectly. Knowing the name, I know there are better events to come, but I feel as if I can be my own Olympian in the future if I were to follow this religiously. I do love Karol, and she has shown the same growth.
23 : Rachel Chinouriri ft. Hak Baker - November : Fencing : An artful sport, completely overlooked by the average viewer, but for me... I just find gorgeous to see with the nuance of the sport. A moment, and in the sweetest of ways.
24 : City Girls - Twerkulator : : Dressage (Equestrian) : Just like the horses that run with limp wrists, I too fully understand the need to fuck over gay men, like I fully get it, I do. The sport is so entertaining to watch, a visual experience, dancing to the music and shit, bopping along to the beat! Like girlll I feel like I want to be an equestrian gay horse dancing to this beat. I would win GOLD!