Talent: Comedy Show / Stand-Up
~Clover Field's Super Duper Online Lecture for Dummies~
What's up besties? My name is Clover Field and I'm gonna be your FIERCE instructor for today's class!
Today, I will be teaching you ALL you need to know about marketing YOURSELF to others (mostly men, cause I know you're all whores).
♡ First up, I'm gonna teach you all about something we call a SWOT analysis. That stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats and it's a great way of doing a self-analysis! Here's an example!
☆ My STRENGTHS are that I was able to give Mac SEVERAL blowjobs to ensure my spot in the final 4.
☆ My WEAKNESSES are that I gave Mac SEVERAL blowjobs, and now I might have herpes or syphilis... maybe both....
☆ My OPPORTUNITIES are that I can hopefully get those pesky STDs cured. Wait, does herpes have a cure? You know what, we'll worry about that when we get to the clinic.
☆ Lastly, my THREATS are the other girls in the cast, who may also be giving Mac blowjobs. Or worse. Eating his ass. I'm talkin' bout you, Caia!
Are you guys starting to get the hang of this? No? Well, too bad cause I'm moving on.
♡ Next, we're gonna talk about the BGC matrix. I'm pretty sure it has a technical name, but I kinda just call it the Bad Girls Club matrix.
While I may have forgotten the actual name, I do, however, remember what it's made up of! In the BGC matrix we have our Stars (myself, duh), our Question Marks (Why is Amanduhh still here?), we have our Cash Cows (I'm talking about Caia, and not the cash part) and lastly, our Dogs (Justine just looks like she drinks out of the toilet).
♡ I hope you ladies are paying attention, cause now we got a little something called the WAP Model, which stands for the Wheyt Aëas Poussey Model, and it's a proven approach conducted by the world's most prominent scientist prostitute drug dealers.
This Model proves that men who have appeared on the Casting Couch as a "straight" male stand a 400% increase in chance of showing up on Grindr. Crazy, right?
♡ And, now, lastly, we have a pop quiz! *Class groans* Oh, don't be like that! It's multiple choice! Here we go!
1. If you multiply the area of a 21 x 16 m football field with one football team of 15 players, what is the point value of your answer?
A. The square root of whatever is between Tamar Indo's legs
B. The probability of Caia jerking off to that one lipsync of Mac
C. The average time it takes Stan! to spell any word other than "whore"
D. 346
Choose wisely!
2. Fill in the blank! Tamar Indo is ___________
A. Gay
B. Gæ
C. Gay as fuck
D. All of the above
That was a hard one!
3. True or False! La Cucaracha is better and more talented than Twinkies LaChappelle.
A. True
B. True
And that's the end of your pop quiz! Now, for extra credit, pop that pussy!!!!
Anyway, this is officially the end of our class. I just wanna say I'm super proud of my students here today. I've only known you all for 5 minutes and you've already learned so much *tears up* I'm so amazing...
With that, this is Clover Field making you less of an idiot every day. You deserve it baby! Byeeeee!
RUNWAY: I'm totally giving you forest nymph who spends her time taking care of the beautiful woodland creatures and plants and eating men for dinner.
https://ibb.co/TMzTXfX 
