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Big Brother and online Hunger games.

FML (F*ck My Life).

Feb 18, 2009 by jakel0vespickler
I found this new amazing website, it's at http://www.fmylife.com/. Anyways, it's about all these stories about people's lives and what went wrong in them that day. Here are a few examples.
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Today, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. When I was on top of her, she asked me if it was in yet. I said yes. She sighed. FML
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Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me : "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?". I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, at which he responded : "No, probably not." FML
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Today, I spent $20 on a spray tan, $30 to have my make up done, and $50 on a pretty new dress all for a special date with my boyfriend. It turns out I spent $100 just to get dumped. FML
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Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML
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Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML
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Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
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Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
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Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
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It is really interesting, but so sad at the same time. :(

Comments

+,+,+,+,+,+
Sent by Vessa,Feb 18, 2009
Today my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML
Sent by Elixir,Feb 18, 2009
!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!
Sent by imxrated93,Feb 18, 2009
+++++
Sent by Patrick7893,Feb 18, 2009
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

LMAO
Sent by AndyShields,Feb 18, 2009
+++
Sent by coolghost,Feb 18, 2009
Plussed
Sent by Retna,Feb 18, 2009
+7+
Sent by rippyroo,Feb 18, 2009
+
Sent by lentil,Feb 18, 2009
Today I had a waterbomb thrown at me not once, not twice but three times, I finally got my revenge by pouring a 2 litre bottle of water of my mate LOL I LOVE MY LIFE!.
Sent by IamBen22,Feb 18, 2009
++++
Sent by girlracer265,Feb 18, 2009
Thanks for plussing and commenting on my blog x
Sent by LuciousLauraxx,Feb 18, 2009
haha :D
Sent by nocaroo,Feb 18, 2009
they make me laugh!
is that cruel?
Sent by funkyred44,Feb 18, 2009
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
LMFAO im sorry that is too funny
Sent by Laqueefsha,Feb 18, 2009
Mine:
Today my sister saw me taking a shower, so she came in the shower with me. LML
=]
Sent by Laqueefsha,Feb 18, 2009
lmfao. +8
Sent by Maggie,Feb 18, 2009
<+><+><+>
Sent by joeyjones,Feb 18, 2009
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

LOL!
Sent by Uskyld,Feb 18, 2009
LOL sorry to laugh but i cant help it some of these are too funny
Sent by piscesgirl,Feb 18, 2009
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

TESS11, how could you?!?!
Sent by Richpaca,Feb 18, 2009
I posted something from their before lmao
Sent by Jensa101,Feb 18, 2009
LOL
Sent by BlueLagoon506,Feb 18, 2009
++++
Sent by hephaestus,Feb 18, 2009
Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML
ROFL!! That is mega harsh but soo funny!
Sent by babes,Feb 18, 2009
LOVE IT LOVE IT HAHA +5 <3
Sent by MarkiePoo,Feb 18, 2009
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
OH MY GOD LOL
Sent by MarkiePoo,Feb 18, 2009
Too hard to resist Rich ;)
Sent by Tess11,Feb 18, 2009
Some of these are just "OMFG" worthy xD
Sent by Tess11,Feb 18, 2009
Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

^^^
That one made me laugh. LOL :(
Sent by OliviaSofie,Feb 18, 2009
these are horrible!!!!!!! Schadenfreude, anyone?
Sent by Alegeeter,Feb 18, 2009
FYS. :) lol
Sent by swatza,Feb 18, 2009
Haha!
I just discovered that site like a day ago!
it's very funny!
++ for the coincidence
Sent by Msbd23,Feb 18, 2009
this is what i call schadenfreude!
Sent by Emmaleigh,Feb 19, 2009

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