I am here with a full blown character expose of my friend Noah, Ace99.
Most people only know two things about him: hot and Jewish.
But who is the man behind the sexy avatar and attractive skype pic?
THIS MAN HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT HIS DATING LIFE AND LACK-THERE-OF AND IT IS SHOCKING!!!!
ALL OF HIS TINDER MATCHES ARE PROSTITUTES. NO IN BETWEEN. HE DENIES ALL THE WOMEN HE THINKS AREN'T HOT ENOUGH, BUT THEN ALL THE ONES WHO ARE ASK HIM FOR $200.
ALSO, HE TAKES ALL OF HIS DATES TO DISNEYLAND. BUT NOT LIKE, WHERE THERE ARE RIDES AND STUFF? SOMETHING CALLED DOWNTOWN DISNEY? NO ONE WHO DOESN'T LIVE IN THAT AREA KNOWS WHAT THIS MEANS BUT HE HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT DOWNTOWN DISNEY FOR 20 MINUTES STRAIGHT.
HE ALSO CANNOT TAKE A HINT, APPARENTLY A GIRL FLAKED ON HIM 5 TIMES AND TRIED TO RESCHEDULE, AND INSTEAD OF TAKING THE HINT, BRO, SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, HE KEPT TRYING UNTIL SHE GAVE UP AND WENT TO DAVE AND BUSTERS WITH HIM OUT OF PITY. THERE WAS NO SECOND DATE!
ANOTHER GIRL TOLD HIM ABOUT HER ASS TATTOO, BUT HE DIDN'T GET THE HINT THAT SHE WANTED SEX, SO HE IS LIKE, REALLY BAD WITH THAT, PROBABLY.
BUT I HEAR HE'S SINGLE, LADIES. HE LIKES BLONDES, SLIDE INTO THOSE DMS IF YOU WANT, BUT LIKE, BE WARNED, HIS IDEA OF FLIRTING IS POSTING GIFS OF SEXY PIZZA AND ANGELICA PICKLES.
