I'm sorry that your tengaged birthday party has been ruined by all the petty drama going on in stars... I spent the entire week trying to convince ZacPed to whore himself out to you - but he refused even after I promised him a stars win & 5 moup94 shop designs - and he still wouldn't bite!
There's also a rumor going around the stars house that Dylan WH*TE BILL COSBY'd you during that Tengaged RealHouseWives Meetup; but I told #salmaan to stop spreading lies about you.
That it was untrue, that there was a completely reasonable explanation of why you woke up with blood on your ass. The Dave's Hot Chicken (Reaper) you ordered... it could've been that, right?
I already told mahogany and Khianna to nominate Sal for spreading these lies about you, but they told me they couldn't because they promised iYBF a free poll down the road... so what does that tell you?
ANYWAY, never leave your drinks unattended at the bar....
ZacPed I know you need a new car... I saw the snow stain leaks on the roof... I can make it worth your time. Just remember to wear a dental dam because Lemjam6 loves that spicy spicy chicken.
