Talent: Comedy Routine.
Hello everyone, welcome to the Willow Blue comedy hour, for the next hour, or 30 minutes depending on how stupid the commercials feel like being, I will be telling jokes that will make you laugh so hard you'll die and then I get to decapitate you and put on my wall, exciting, I know. Well, let's get this crazy thing we're dealing with started! So, in order to get you guys warmed up for the main act, I feel I should start off with one of my favorite pun jokes ever, so, it goes like this: Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married, the ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible! Now, how did that joke make you feel, happy, sad, wet, although if it made you feel wet then that's a situation we shouldn't talk about here because ye nasty if you got wet from the joke.
Okay, recently, it feels like bugs and ants have waged war on where I live, I have gotten a few bug bites, and if I get anymore I'll look like if Eureka O' Hara busted out in hives! That's a sight nobody wants to see! Hardly anyone wants to see Eureka so who would want to see someone else looking like she has hives!
So like every comedian, let's talk about my love life, because let's face it, what comedian won't basically tear themselves down just so others will smile, so, I don't think I've found the one I truly love yet, although, I'll know when I do, I know because I run a background check on all possible people of interest, see other people they have dated before, and also do what every sensible person does, I stalk them for a period of three days, if I deem them worthy, then I would possibly date them, but if I don't deem them worthy, well then I'm still happy because I get a new head on my wall, it's a win-win!
So let's get off dating for now and talk about vacations and the things like that, so, I've grown up in a place that gets snow, I really like snow, so imagine my reaction when I was once told that we might be going on a cruise during the winter, I was all like "Uh no thanks, tell me the idea again when I suddenly decide that tossing out one of the greatest seasons from my life is a good idea, or when I drop 95 IQ points, they're practically the same thing! On the other spectrum, we have Summer, when going on vacation is a good idea, because heat can sometimes be one of the worst things ever, so people want to go somewhere to take their mind off the thing that's practically burning their skin to a crisp! So, that basically wraps up what I have to say about vacations and the seasons, and remember, when taking me anywhere, it had better have three things, food, fun, and dark alleys so I can find places to get more heads for my wall.
So let's move on to the subject of music, music today sucks, let's just get that across, it seems like a lot of music today is rap, and that reminds me of this one joke I'm stealing from a YouTube comment, it goes like this: Candy is just like music, it's better without the wrappers. Now, I'm more a fan of swing type music, because the people sound good, the music is catchy, and it describes me perfectly, because I like being a swinger as well!
So I just have one more thing to talk to guys about, and that's talking about some of the queens from Drag Race, my hot and flexib- actually, Yuhua already beats this dead horse into the ground, so, as we all know, the Miss Congeniality vote recently closed, and it ended with one queen having about 18 million votes, I know because live voting results were posted, and you know what 18 million is larger than, the population of Belgium! Now, I don't about you, but I'm calling bots! Bots and the people behind them are guilty of forging votes, it's like the Russians decided to hack the vote!
Well, I hope you've enjoyed my comedy hour, and it seems everything is coming to a close, and I just spotted someone who looks cute, I wonder what their plans are for the next three days, I know what I'll be doing, *Winks, and then proceeds off stage to perform the stalking/possible head hunting*
