*walks into audition room*
Hello, today I will be performing a dramatic piece...
*takes a deep breath*
OSWORDO SHUT THE FUCK UP, YEAH SHUT THE FUCK UP! GET OUT OF HERE AND SHUT THE FUCK UP, OSWORDO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. I'M OSWORDO, IM 39 YEARS OLD AND I'M STILL IN REALITY TV AND I STILL HAVEN'T FUCKING WON ANYTHING SO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID REJECT OF A LIFE.
*Turns to walk away and turns back around*
Alright? What else do you have to say? Fake books... you have fake boobs, you're anorexic, you can't get a fucking husband, you don't have kids, you're ugly, SHUT. THE. FUCK UP!
*Walks away again as producer and co-casting director oswordo sobs*
YEAH CRY YOU'RE FUCKING HEART OUT YOU ANOREXIC BITCH! I WANT YOU TO CRY BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTHLESS.
