[time starts now]

La Cucaracha

Book Title: Drag The Queen (The Inside Scoop on Talian's Drag Race and All of its Scandals)

Book Cover: https://imgur.com/a/JYgSEcs

Author: Tamar Indo (after stealing the book from La Cucaracha)

Book Commercial:

Runway: https://imgur.com/a/yHmiKh8

CF: This week, I am basing my look on the icon, the legend, Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. I am serving my take on this character if Jack Sparrow was Jackie Sparrow - a badass bitch who steals your heart and your money. I am living for the burst of colors and my accessories!

Good Evening,
My name is Eden Gardens and this is my new self-help book

"Don't get better, just get bitter".



My book contains everything you could possibly want and need to know  about kicking up a fuss, making a scene and making the whole world feel uncomfortable without taking any fucking responsibility.

In my step by step guide, i will take you along on a journey of self-discovery of doing absolutely nothing to improve yourself whilst blaming the world in a multitude of ways!

Chapters include:
"How to angrily articulate when things don't go your way"
"How to successful deflect your rage and adamantly deny wrong-doing"
"I've been proven wrong? prove it!"
and my personal favourite: "Tag-teaming with La Cucuracha to cause a frenzy and drive the host slightly crazy".

Includes a whole chapter of other queens talking about how bitter i really am. Such compliments include "that buzzer that goes off after every challenge".

This book is a smash hit, rated 6/5 by BitterQueens.com, psst...i added the extra star because 5 wasn't nearly good enough...So...

Remember Ladies...when life gives you lemons, give them straight back! Don't know how? pick up a limited edition of my amazing new book with a free invisible poster of hints and tips for beating Avra K. Davra.

Time to turn over a new page with me, Eden Gardens, and change ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about yourself! *whispers* La Cucuracha need not read it *whispers*.

On the Runway i am presenting you a representation of a classic literary heroin combined with the feisty females of anime in a look i call "Alice in Kawonderland". This runway is fusion, it's modern and it's a reimagining. Alice is an It girl; she's combined her love of Tea anf Flamingo's, She's got her white rabbit camera who's leading the way but she's THE star. Hungry?

Anita Nap:
'Depression, Vegan Nuggets, Little Peckers...And Me!'

https://imgur.com/a/tuUrZNE

Advert Blurb:

From the author that brought you such classics as 'A clockwork dildo' and 'To kill a mopping queen' comes a new cuming of age story for the ages.

---'Depression, Vegan Nuggets, Little peckers...and me' ---

Anita was just an ordinary, messy, depressed vegan  from the mean streets of…the suburbs of London with a refillable prescription for xanax and antidepressants. The only thing more bland than the vegan nuggets she would cook each evening was her 9-5 job working as Twinkies Chapelle’s personal back shaver.

But she hid a deep, dark secret from the rest of the world…she was addicted to the taste of… little peckers!

Nothing could satisfy her more than a small, sticky wiener in her mouth.

Read on to hear how much she can suck…and discover how she can manage keeping her love of small meat away from the judgemental eyes of Erin the vegan!

Will Anita be able to keep her veganity in tact?

Will she find the sausage of her dreams?

Will Twinkies’ back hair ever be manageable?

Find the answers to these questions and more in this messy, slice of delusion comedy.

Buy a copy of 'Depression, Vegan Nuggets, Little Peckers...And Me' today...available in all goodwill charity shops.

---Look---

Look - https://imgur.com/a/K6bSCKe

My look is inspired by Pennywise the clown from the classic book 'IT' by Stephen King. I'm stomping down the runway in this fashion interpretation of this classic villain. When I  get to the end of the runway, I flash my monster smile and give the judges something to think about in their nightmares tonight.

Avra K. Davra

Hello everyone!

My name is Avra ​​K. Davra and today I am going to talk to you about my newest book publication.

After writing "Putting the hose in the pantyhose" and "That orange thing is not hives", I think it's time to make a resounding change in my career.

After winning my crown, my life began to lose meaning, I felt tired and everything had lost flavor... Then I knew I had covid.

But after the fifteen days of isolation, I felt that my life needed more adrenaline, something different. So I did what any other proudly American woman would have done: I entered the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.

And it wasn't until I found myself lying on the floor, choking on a piece of sausage, while a firefighter named Douglas performed the Heimlich maneuver on me that I saw it.

I felt it, ladies and gentlemen, I got the call. He stood in front of me and told me that if he wanted to change my life, he had to make better decisions, and that if he was willing to listen to him, he would get the sausage out of me.

One thing is for sure: Things changed forever for me.

This is what I talk about in my new book. How I got away from sausages and focused on what really matters now: Vegan food.

I have to admit, he doesn't look anything like the movies. He doesn't look like Dumbledore and he doesn't look like Morgan Freeman either.

Do you want to know what he looks like? I invite you to buy my book!

"God In, Sausage Out"

Available in my trunk as soon as I get out of this event!

Plai Statión Book

Dodo Publishing is proud to present an all new thrilling murder mystery from the mind of Plai Statión...

Penelope Baker is invited to the annual Bakewell County fair where it seems inevitable that Percival Jamme is going to win best in show for the baking competition for his famous cheesecake...
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Until he's found dead and the recipe stolen...
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The intrigue...
The scandal...
The smell of blood mixed with cake batter...
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Now its up to Penelope to find the heinous criminal who dared to steal that cheesecake recipe and discover who killed Percival Jamme in the book that critics are calling "A bunch of people killing each other over cake", "Okay, I guess" and "A stupid concept from beginning to end".

Can Penelope Baker solve...
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The Cheesecake Murders
Cover: https://ibb.co/k5fMmnD

Look
https://ibb.co/X8yjxRK

For my runway this week I've decided to go with my interpretation of Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. My interpretation of her is as a rich social media personality who is trying to set up her own brand and after the tour goes all in on blue after her incident, with this look being a possible runway piece of hers.

Runway



CF: IT'S ALIVE!
For this runway I'm living my Doctor Frankenstein Fantasy! If I'm about to bring some weird creature to life, I wanna look THIS gorgeous. Don't wait for me awake, I have a date with the Creature.

~ MAXI CHALLENGE ~

Book Title: How to win a Tengaged Drag Race

Book Cover:

Zsa Zsa: Have you ever thought about winning drag race?

Zsa Zsa: Well how about on the greatest website of all time; Tengaged?

Zsa Zsa: With just one read of my newest book you’ll learn exactly what is needed to become a Tengaged drag superstar!

*camera switches to a pre-recorded scene*

Talian: I’ve been fading away in the competition especially with my runways do you have any tips on how I can improve them?!

Zsa Zsa: Well Talian…if you read “‘How to win a Tengaged Drag Race’ it’ll tell you in 5 nice and easy steps, how to copy and paste an imvu head onto a designers outfit taking all credit for yourself!

*another switch occurs to a different scene*

Talian: La Cucaracha…condragulations you are the winner of this weeks challenge!

La Cucaracha: Wow thank you so much Talian! I couldn’t have done any of this without the help of Zsa Zsa and her new book ‘How to win a Tengaged Drag Race’ it really taught me everything I’ve learnt without it I would still be as crusty as Pre Madonna!

*switches back to zsa zsa presenting*

Zsa Zsa: Some of Tengaged’s amazing queens such as Eleanor Von Pour, Analiese and even Catalina have all invested in reading ‘How to win a Tengaged Drag Race’ and that’s exactly why they have developed the beautiful singing voices and lipsyncing skills that they have! Which is exactly why I encourage queens like Eden Gardens and Anita Nap to take a moment to read this book!

Zsa Zsa: Not only does this book have all the tips and tricks it also has examples of what not to do, let’s take a preview of a section that demonstrates this.

DO NOT send in a YouTube Lipsync as they will very rarely beat out a irl lipsync or an edited lipsync.

DO NOT cause conflict between yourself and the host as they will be less fond of you and less likely to crown you.

And lastly

DO NOT be named Klaus because you’ll only ever be a runner-up.

Zsa Zsa: Make sure to order your copy of ‘How to win a Tengaged Drag Race’ now for just a measly $5 because we’re tryna help you bitches out! Trust me it’ll be worth your time…especially for you…


~ RUNWAY ~



I’m serving you Rumplestiltskin from the iconic Shrek! I wanted to try something a little different and give a very campy character but still serve fashion! Who doesn’t love being a villain sometimes?!

HI- SORRY, My publisher made a huge mistake, nothing to do with me. I had a ghost writer and just totally...urgh can't get the staff these days. Second Edition already in print!

Posting my runway again cause the link crashed!



CF: IT'S ALIVE!
For this runway I'm living my Doctor Frankenstein Fantasy! If I'm about to bring some weird creature to life, I wanna look THIS gorgeous. Don't wait for me awake, I have a date with the Creature.

Ruby Velvet.

Oh— hi! I didn’t see you there. I was busy fanning myself with my latest brilliant addition to Canadian literature. With so many great pieces of work to compare from originating my country… at least I’ve managed to pass ‘Anne of Green Gables’ in the charts.

Setting realistic goals— the first step to self improvement.

The bar wasn’t exactly set high… but that’s beside the point.

Today I present you— “Ruby Velvets Guild to Bottoming. In and Out of the Competition.” First, you need to relax and lower your expectations. Pour yourself a glass of wine, and sit yourself in a warm and bubbling bath. This is called the calm before the storm.

Next, you need to prepare. Prepare yourself for disappointment. Because even if you perform at your very best and get on top, the climax is likely too only last a few seconds.

Another important thing to mind, a little reinvention of the phrase “power bottom.” You see, if all you ever do is bottom, like me, you can let him do most the work sometimes… but every now and then you’ve just got to get on top and put in maximum effort.

Let me give you a teaser.

“Chapter 3– Overthinking your way out of Success: A Ruby Velvet Memoir.”

If you post your work— make sure to let your inner saboteur destroy any traces of the evidence.

…Success!

If you win one week— don’t forget to post late the next week so you erase all the progress you made the first time!

…Success!

Is that all the time we have? Didn’t I buy more?

Anyway…

“Ruby Velvets Guild to Bottoming. In and Out of the Competition.”— available on most… some… self publishing platforms across the web. You can find me in the alternative self help section, aka the broom closet turned dusty book shelves.

… BUY IT!?
NOW.
Please.
… Please?

*camera cuts and starts playing awkward informercial with that Doctor having no clue what PrEP is, ‘whatcha preppin for big guy?’*



Runway. "You're Such a Character"

https://imgur.com/a/SHNCEa3

CF: These girls sure look cute, but I am feeling DROP. DEAD. GORGEOUS. Literally.