Dear Tayvie,
You've killed off 12 of us and we're coming down to the bitter, sleepless, habit-inducing end. Even after the past 12 weeks I think there's something you don't know about me, and it's that I have a fear of losing. When I was 4 years old my grandmother gave me a little stuffed dog named Plopper (picture of him
http://www.tableandhome.com/prodimages/93038.jpg ) and it was really love at first sight... Growing up he was my only friend and my parents were worried because I spent a lot of time talking to him and sharing secrets. He was the only one I felt I could talk to, because whatever I had to say he just sat there and listened. I was always teased at school and everyone called me "the fat and gay one." I would run off to the swings and cry by myself, and I was always by myself because wherever I went people moved somewhere else. But Plopper always stayed. I wanted so bad to just be home-schooled, so I could just stay at home and be with Plopper 24/7, but that wasn't an option because my parents were both working. So to deal with the constant stress, I brought Plopper to school. This only brought the teasing to an all-time high. I was stared at and picked on more now than Brenda "Boogers," who would pick her nose during spelling tests. But Plopper didn't mind the laughing and teasing...it seemed like he enjoyed it. He was a solid motherfucker against a pack of alpha bullies. It made me envy him. I emulated his courage, and one day I approached my oppressors at the playground one day, Plopper at my side. I looked up at them and they looked down on me. One of them acknowledged me, saying 'What do you want, FATTIE!' and they all laughed. I bet they were expecting me to start crying, but I just stood there and smiled, just like Plopper does. This angered them though, and in a flash of a second I was beaten to the ground and I could see the stars in my eyes. I could see the outline of Plopper though, and I struggled to say his name as they tore him to shreds. They swung him, ripped him, threw his cotton ball guts in the sky. My world was crushed. The only friend I ever had was torn apart in front of me. I lost him, and it was all my fault. This is why I'm afraid of losing, Tayvie. Bceuase I know in the end if I fail, it's my fault. There's no one else to blame but myself. Even when I peer down the slides at the park, even when I swing on the swings, even when I climb the monkey bars, I feel Plopper's ghost beside me. Loss haunts me now. Please don't let me lose again, Tayvie. Please.
http://i.imgur.com/k2Apcll.png For my runway I'm serving some girl-who-tried-cosplay-and-failed-miserably realness.