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The shellyme's blog

Posts 19 posts

Gone Fishing May 19, 2015
imageAlex had a terrible day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one.  On his way home, he stopped at the fishmonger and ordered four rainbow trout.  He told the fishmonger, 'Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?'

'Why do you want me to throw them at you?' Asked the salesman?'  So that I am able to tell my wife, in all honesty, that I caught them.' said Alex.

'Okay, but I suggest that you take the salmon.'  Why's that?  'Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take salmon.  That's what she'd like for supper tonight', replied the fishmonger with a grin.
Points: 0 0 comments
The Teacher, the Thief & the Lawyer Apr 4, 2013
imageA teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident. So when they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that, unfortunately, heaven is overcrowded, so they each have to answer a question correctly for admission.
The teacher is first, and St. Peter asks, “Name the famous ship that was sunk by an iceberg?” “Phew, that one’s easy,” says the teacher, “The Titanic.” “Alright,” said St.Peter, “you may pass.”
Then the thief got his question: “How many died on the Titanic?” The thief replied, “That’s a toughy, but fortunately I just saw the movie. The answer is 1500 people.” And so he passed through. Last, St. Peter gave the lawyer his question: “Name them.”
Points: 47 10 comments
2 men on a ladder Mar 24, 2013
“Send someone over quickly!” the old woman screamed into the phone. “Two naked men are climbing towards my bedroom window!”
“This is the Fire Department, lady,” the voice replied. “I’ll have to transfer you to the Police Department.”
“No, it’s YOU I want!” she yelled. “They need a longer ladder!”
Points: 35 0 comments
Baby in a blendeR Mar 22, 2013
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face!
Points: 1 2 comments
birdy Mar 21, 2013
Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye.
Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!
Points: 33 3 comments
OH mY GoD Mar 17, 2013
I didn't know that there were a deduction in plussin' your bets!! I am just plussin' it and plussin' it I lose my 20 T$
Points: 40 4 comments