People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
The pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no penis.
People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." f*ck off. What good is a damn cake you cant eat?
When people say "Its always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after youve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that? No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and stare at the frikken ceiling up there.
The radio ad "Hi, Im Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Dont drink and drive. I dont" Well, I hope you dont drive sober either Mr. Healey. Youre blind for Gods sake!
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didnt really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?"
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If its new,then there has never been anything before it. If its an improvement, then there must have been something before it. (I dont get this one ugh)
When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole you pulled me over
