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UpthePUNX

UpthePUNX's blog

  1. The LAG Poem
  2. Waiting for my rocket to come.
  3. Pretty much everywhere
  4. Going out with dignity-Rookies 16000
  5. Swarm Badge (4sq/Comiccon content)
  6. AnotherCaturday has come and gone.
  7. Only 26 hours til CATURDAY!!!!
  8. I made Monet cry. Who am I?
  9. Favorite 4 letter word- GO!
  10. Nominate best reality show player (US)
  11. Doctor Doodie- The science of shit
  12. Whats your favorite brand of condom?
  13. Final Four.
  14. Does Tengaged not celebrate Caturday?
  15. The decline of #9299
  16. CATTURDAY!!!1!!!
  17. Rookies game. Lets go!
  18. White= Weak
  19. BB stands for...
  20. If you could know one thing about the future, what..
  21. The day my dog shit my pants
  22. Post what kind of dog you have!
  23. A work of fiction
  24. Britney Spears scared of death threats!
  25. The day I shit my pants (REDUX)
  26. The day i shit my pants
  27. Bad Dream
  28. sitting at the airport
  29. what to drink?
  30. LAST FELINE FRIDAY!!!!
  31. Here is my snake
  32. Day One

The UpthePUNX's blog

123456
Posts 32 posts

The day I shit my pants (REDUX) Aug 4, 2009
I have now started a blog on blogspot. I did this because the formatting is lost when posting Tengaged blog entries.  Please check out my latest post now with formatting. Remember to come back, comment and vote!

http://utpunx.blogspot.com/2009/08/so-one-hot-summer-day-during-my-early.html
Points: 9 3 comments
The day i shit my pants Aug 3, 2009
imageSo, one hot summer day during my early twenties, I was on leave from the army visiting my mother in Phoenix, Arizona. After a day of swimming, sweating, and sipping drinks, it was time to meet my mother and one of her friend (who had 3 kids) for dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Dinner went well. I defaulted into the role of "entertainment for the kids (ages 8-14). I told stories, jokes and acted in a generally silly manner.

After our meal, the children began to get restless. I decided that since we were in a shopping area, I would give each kid $5 and take them to K-Mart so they could blow it on whatever they want. This gave my mom some time to have an extra margarita with her pal without kids clamoring for their attention. As we walk in, I lay out the ground rules. 10 minutes. Be in check out line 3. Spend less than $5, keep the change. I let them disappear into the store.

Then, my bowels decided they were in charge of my life.  I had a sudden pain followed by the intense sensation to lay down a deuce. It is not going to be pretty. Luckily, I am 25 feet from the bathroom. I step-squeeze to the bathroom and to my dismay, there is a sign that reads "UNDER RENOVATION".  Both the mens and the womens.  I turn to head to the back of the store to where Im sure there will be another bathroom.  10 steps and I'm positive that I will not make it. I turn and run back to the renovation bathrooms and burst through the door, which was thankfully unlocked.

As I burst through, shit bursts out of my pants, covering my legs, my pants and the floor. I decide I have to do something. Thinking quickly, I lock the door. I clean up myself and the floor with about 5000 paper towels and water. I toss my shit covered shorts in the garbage, unlock the door and remove the sign, hoping someone comes in.

About 30 minutes later, a man brings his boy into the restroom. I've been hiding in a stall waiting for this.  I open a dialogue.

"Sir. Excuse me, Sir? CAn you help me? I am in some really deep shit!"

"Whats up?" says the man

"Sir, I just shit all over myself. This isnt a joke. I really need your help."

(The man laughs hysterically) "What do you need man?"

"Could you please go to the mens department and get me ANY sizr 32 Khaki shorts?"

Long story short, this guy helps me out, brings back the shorts. I pull off the tag, pay for them at the register. The lady looks at me really odd for wearing the pants Im buying. I dont even begin to stink about explaining myself.  I high tail it back to the restaurant where the kids have long made it back. My mom asks me what happened. I tell her I got sick and threw up on my pants and had to buy new ones. We say goodbye to her friend. I get in the car and try to forget the last hour of my life. I never have.
Points: 49 5 comments
Bad Dream Aug 3, 2009
imageWoke up at 3 AM after dreaming I'd been nominated. Went and checked. Same 3 noms on the block. Went back to sllep. Got up this morning. Still had a horrible feeling I was nominated. Started replaying the game in my head. Where did I go wrong? I never backstabbed anyone. Maybe that was the reason I was up. Who did it? Was it XXXX or YYYY. I dont think ZZZZ has the guts to do it.  Logged in. Nope. Not nominated! It was all a bad dream.
Points: 11 1 comments
sitting at the airport Aug 1, 2009
Waiting for my little girl to get off the plane after spending all summer at her moms house. Only 2 weeks til school so we better cram in the fun. Movies, amusement and water parks. Maybe we'll camp out in the back yard! Either way, it will be good to have her home.
Points: 0 0 comments
what to drink? Jul 31, 2009
I think I'll start off with a Boulevard Pilsner, then maybe a bottle of reisling with dinner. Maybe a bb party later this evening with a six pack of Schlitz!
Points: 9 1 comments
LAST FELINE FRIDAY!!!! Jul 31, 2009
imageIf you live in KCMO and need some pussy, they are having a 2 for 1 pussy special at wayside waifs!

Check em out

http://waysidewaifs.org
Points: 18 1 comments
123456