in a brooding mood this morn, so random journaling time yeehaw
• friendships do seem to come and go with life stages/events..
• does that make the shorter ones just ones by 'convenience' and if so does that make t
them mean less?
• there's more excitement to relationships and can burnout way faster
• being on the ace spectrum, always wondered if i just burnout faster than others?
• are friendships that you can just 'resume' after years of no contact the best kind?
• or is it only out of nostalgia that you reconnect?
• friends to lovers trope - better way to get to really know someone...
• or do you even up romanticizing the friendship from the start and only start dating
once you've both realized that's been going on
• do long-term relationships/marriages always lead to 'settling'
• or is settling actually okay because it can provide stability and it's natural after time?
Comments
i did notice im 2nd on ur shoutout list now though
honestly i just woke up and im bored on my phone so i will, also i unironically have thought about most of these before on my own
1.i think every friendship youve had is important in terms of influencing how you are as a person and whether it was short or still going on its good to value the time you had with them. Im also very big in the idea that long friendships can end quickly. If you are in a new part of your life that people cant match, time with a person shouldn't hold u back in making those decisions, but that doesnt make it not mean as much. So with that logic, the short ones matter just as much.
2. I think the problem is that people romanticize the idea of being in a relationship more than the person themselves. when alot of ppl start dating they dont often think of the the future like if this something im gonna keep on wanting. They also dont think of the present tbh like do i actually like this person or were they just available to flirt with me. With that in Mind the excitement leaves just as fast as it came. Personally im the type to overthink my past present and future so i find it easier to know what i want in a person i think, so it rly depends on the ppl within that relationship. Im not ace so i cant answer that second part hehe but that could be a big reason for you, however i do think its mostly from what i said up there.
3. I do this alot. This is also dependent on the person and alot of my friends think its weird but the other ones think its normal. Being able to resume friendships easily isnt a signal of good friendship i will always think you either have the personality to do this or you dont. Some people are just more dependent on communication over memories and thats okay too. Example : daddydev, iigalaxyii maybe yall can add ur opinions too
4. hmm idk... Lemme ask roughnightbro real quick hehe. Honestly that being a trope is kinda funny to me because i feel like thats how it should be? This kinda goes back to 2, this is how to avoid 2. Becoming friends with someone naturally lets u actually get to know a person and lets you decide how you feel about them whether thats romantic or simply platonic. There is a chance you may know from the start but its still good to go through a friendship with someone before you decide to be anything else with them. Either way there always ends up being a cute spark that kinda appears outta nowhere that indicates romantic attraction and its a moment for both of you to share. =]
5.In a way yes, i think marriage is a big step because of the label you guys have not just within yourselves but within the goverment and all. Because of that people find comfort in doing it because settling down in theory sounds nice. However i dont think that means stability 100% of the time. Just like any other relationship ur able to break it off and u should if you feel like its time to do so. As someone whos afraid of commitment this is lowkey one of my biggest problems with marriage, the big step in solidifying a life with someone just to eventually find out its not what you wanted or it fizzles out after marriage. And this was just for marriage, but as for long term relationships i mean thats basically the same thing as a marriage in terms of the law and how you feel about someone so the same rules apply haha. And i personally dont know how id react to any of that so i tend to be distant from the idea of either but im trying to break out of it <3
1. agreed!!! friendships, even as temporary as for like...camp lets say, can be beneficial. I think time plays a role still but even the shortest ones aren't worthless?
2. no that's so real. like I get into moods where I get lonely but then there's also times where I don't want anything to do with anyone. i romanticize like dates bc there's an ending and I can go back to my life. having my life intertwined with someone else's is still something I need to learn personally and something that differentiates lust with love so to speak.
3. i think it's normal and healthy too?? like unless there was an actual falling out, just like moving away or something doesn't have to ruin all the work you've made on that friendship.
4. see this one I just....want to believe in? but that cute spark that appears out of nowhere seems so random? i want it so bad but i've never had it happen but I've friends who I could have dated on paper so idk.
5. also one of my greatest fears though is being 'trapped'. Like not trapped as in you physically can't leave someone but trapped as in, I've spent/wasted 10+ years with someone then realize I need to break up and move on solo or find someone new. Like yes it happens but that whole challenge of finding someone all over again...I don't think I would???
