= Lola's Pizza Challenge =
Welcome everybody to Cooking with Canola! Now, today we will be making a pizza for the one and only Kairi Insane! We are here to help a sister out and much like her drag, we are going to be making a cheap and affordable pizza that anyone can make at home!
For our base we will be using a stuffed crust. You can stuff it with anything you want - cheese, peanut butter, Cindeurora Laclam - you name it. Get creative! I've noticed that our dear Kairi had been down in the dumps lately but I find a good stuffing makes everyone feel better.
Now our pizza is still looking very bare, just like Ms. Insane's face when she walks the runway. I'm not here to judge though, this pizza is specially designed to improve her style and wellbeing. So we are going to do a nice thin spread of tomato paste. A staple ingredient. No need to go overboard but just having something there gives it that extra jush that it needs.
Time to move on to our toppings starting with the cheese. For Kairi's pizza we are going to be using Swiss Cheese. I've heard rumors that she is possessed by the devil so this pizza desperately needs something holy to exorcise those demons.
Our second addition is going to be Valium. Her last name is no joke. Maybe a little relaxation... or tranquilization would do everyone some good. Sometimes Kairi Insane needs to take a rest and become just Kairi.
Next we are going to add some toothpaste. I'm all about making healthy food and giving the body the nutrients that it needs. A little toothpaste in her pizza will help with that dental problem and clear up her stank breath. I'm sure she won't taste it because we are going to disguise it with a little bit of...
Jungle Juice - and I don't mean the alcohol darling. If you've never heard of it, look it up or ask your mum. It's an Australian specialty, and we are slathering this pizza in it. It's just going to add that extra kick, and really help her to... open up.
Oh! I almost forgot our final ingredient. A pair of lashes. Jesus took forty lashes so Kairi can afford to wear two on the runway.
Thankyou for joining me on this mission to save our sister with pizza. I really hope she enjoys her pizza because let's be real. We all know this is going to be her last supper.