yesterday was a very rough day for me. I was very anxious which caused me a lot of stomach pain and headache. Kept walking back and forth hoping and praying that when the episodes drop I won't see what I ended up seeing. I could barely sleep the night before it either. Then I saw the google drive link for the episode on twitter, downloaded it and skipped straight to the end just to see who goes home, hoping that all that constant pain and fighting wasn't for nothing. Turns out they were all for nothing. I made a comment about it on reddit then I just cried my eyes out. All for nothing, yet another lose and proof that I have no luck, that nothing in my life ever wants to work out the way I want. I cried, then my chest hurt so much that my mom had to take me to the hospital. I am fine and can think and talk properly now, however i have no desire for anything anymore. Absolutely nothing. And whenever I think about what happened I just feel bad. I was able to watch episode 2 in full a few hours ago and was completely let down by how they wrote him. It was so awful. I was able to stomach how he went home last season but here? This ain't it. I haven't felt this bad watching a total drama episode in my life and I have 0 desire to continue watching it, and as someone who constantly defended the show this really hurts more than it should. I feel like I got stabbed. Chase haters won, I lost. Congrats to everyone who wanted him to go early, you won, he's not gonna compete ever again. I bet all of them are celebrating right now, good for them.

So this leads me to my goodbye. Everyone i know told me to leave everything about this show behind for my own well beng. And that's what I'm going to do. Thank you to everyone who liked me, and to those who didn't, I am sorry. I had some fun times here and I'm happy I was able to make some people laugh either with my pants jokes, my fanarts or with my love for Chase, which yes, is genuine, I do genuinely have a crush on him even if he's not real, even if he's a piece of shit, he's my piece of shit. i'm gonna keep this account up for a few more hours then I will delete it for good unless the mods will be faster than me and delete this thread before it for being too off topic. No more coming back unless maybe some miracle happens and I find out that either him or another character I really love will compete in another season. But i'm not gonna be that lucky because this whole thing proved that I never will be, no matter how much I beg for it. Why remain here when I'm not interested in any of the future episodes and the show will likely end for good after it, if not forever then definitely for a couple of years. No point in staying here. Goodbye and as Chase once said, have a good life.