Do you have horrible teeth? Are they as stained Jeffree Star's past? BUT DON'T WORRY, as long as they're white everything can be forgiven!
I'm here to present to you our new invention!
Hyper Velocity Prophylaxis Unparagoned Sesquipedalian Perspicacious Teeth Cleaner.
In short - HVPUSPTC!
At first we built a very high-tech device with Elon's fundings. He told us to use high advanced physics, something about Black holes. Well...nobody understood shit he said, so we just put a drilling hammer on a stick. However our test subjects *caugh* poor people* *caught* were really unhappy with our project.
Then we thought "huh, it cannot be our device that is the problem"...so we basically continued to the point where Korea got inspired by this and made some random tv series about it and made millions...cant relate.
People would say that we're horrible for this...but we also lost money because of them y'know? We're also victims in this situation.
We decided to hire the most powerful person on this planet - Tobin Bell. On his resume he only put "saw", which really inspired us. But yeah...let's just say legally we cannot speak about this experiment. It's kinda like How to Get Away with Murder, but we ain't hot lawyers so there was not happy ending.
We ended up investing a lot of mone in brooms and guess what - THEY WERE SO GOOD AT CLEANING UP DIRTY DEAD BODIES. And you know what you have on your teeth? DIRT.
So that's how we got something like this:
https://www.amway.com/medias/100957C-en-US-690px-01?context=bWFzdGVyfHJvb3R8MjkyNDZ8aW1hZ2UvanBlZ3xoMmQvaGQxLzg4Mzk5MTg3MTQ5MTAuanBnfGE4YmQzOWJhMzkyZmU0N2FmZDE2MzQzMTM1MmY5ZDgyYTE4ZGNhNzE2ZWU0MDdiYjU5M2U1N2Y0NzhkOWY1MzY You're possibly aware that it kinda looks like your regular toothbrush...but in the future we still scam, so buy HVPUSPTC.
Disclaimer: If you die, ain't our fault.