Jus almost excluded me from this game. That was rude of him. I cried for a year and listened to Linking Park and Simple Plan as I tried to heal the pain of not getting. Luckily, Eddie got stung by the inactivity hornet and had to be medevaced so I was gracefully brought back in to stomp on all the mammal scum you provided me to stomp on. I'm going to make everyone's lives hell if they give me the chance. And then I'm gonna go angst about how I was almost cut.

Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.