Ladies, it’s time to compete in the third annual Miss Tengaged Drag Race Pageant! She who manages to win this title must demonstrate exceptional runway skills, personality, grace, and comedy!
As per usual, you’ll be participating in this pageant as pre-assigned characters. Flan won the last challenge, so she’s been given the opportunity to assign these characters herself!
CHARACTERS:
Miss Terry, played by Untitled, who is a riddle, wrapped up in a mystery, inside an enigma. Catch her on the cover of Vague magazine!
Miss Informed, played by Scream Korea, doesn’t know left from right, but she does know that black people caused the Holocaust… and 9/11!
Big Miss Steak, played by Eva Lution, who is eating for two now, and boy does she regret it! She’s large and in charge, chunky yet… Type 2 Diabetic.
Miss Tress, played by Flan. Welcome to her world, where men are toys in the dungeon to be used, played with, and/or forgotten.
Miss Extra, played by Maui Wowwy, who is absolutely #TeamTooMuch. She’s Miss Extra, and she has something to say.
The pageant will be divided into THREE portions.
The first portion will be VISUALS - you will need to create a pageant-inspired runway look that channels the personality of your character, so be creative and exciting! You'll be required to wear a sash and tiara, but the rest is totally up to you.
The next portion is TALENT - you'll be showing off to the judges that one special thing that helps you stand out from the other girls. You may do what you please with this section, whether it be a song, video, or simply a speech.
The final portion is Q & A - you'll be answering two open ended questions:
What do you think is the biggest problem in today’s society?
Of all the great women in our herstory, whose footsteps do you wish to follow, and why?
The top two queens this week will be lip-syncing to ‘Cheer Up’ by TWICE.
This challenge will be due on Thursday, January 19th, 2017 11:59pm EST. Feel free to update your list if you wish, otherwise I will use your list from the previous week.
Gentlemen, start your engines… and may the best woman win!
Q & A:
What do you think is the biggest problem in today’s society?
Of all the great women in our herstory, whose footsteps do you wish to follow, and why?
Selena. porque esta pregunta es estúpida y quiero morir. YOLANDA, ESTOY AQUI!
*Old dude walks up*
Translation: She said, "World peace!"
TALENT: *walks out to applause* Hey y'all, so for my talent today, I will be doing a runway choreo routine.
*begins to walk*
*gathers wig, bag, and discarded dildo and bows* Thank you! It's very avant garde but I hope you liked it!
Q&A:
*Walks up to the microphone, creating a large feedback noise as I do, sputtering "Pffffft!" with laughter as I do*
Miss Extra: GURRRRRRRRHL! *kikis and cackles* I'm sorry y'all whew! HONEY! I'm here! *excitedly claps, prompting a few hands in the audience to do so*
Question 1: What do you think is the biggest problem in today’s society?
Miss Extra: The biggest problem in today's society is the complete and utter disregard for the importance of importances, a-tuh, I mean, am I right? Lemme hear you clap if I'm right? *audience applause* I think the audience agrees with me when I say that when we don't fix things, they won't be fixed and when we fix them, the problems won't even be big anymore, okay? It's like a social Jenny Craig. GIVE JENNY A CALL, SOCIETY!!! DAMN! Thank you.
Question 2: Of all the great women in our herstory, whose footsteps do you wish to follow, and why?
Miss Extra: Um, this is clearly a trick question? How can I follow my own footsteps if I have to make them first? Okay? HAA HAA!!! Am I right? Whew! Okay, girl? Do you feel me sister? Whew, okay, I'll talk to you later. Okay. Bye, girl.
*Presses end tone on hidden bluetooth in phone*
Okay, sorry y'all, my answer is Rosa Parks *smiles at the light applause* Thank you.
For my talent, I will be giving you all a speech I hold very near and dear to my hearteries;
Hello everybody and thank you for your time today. I would like to discuss an issue that has been plaguing our society for too long. When I go to KFC and ask for that 10 peice family value meal, you know I am paying over 12 dollars for it. Why is it that I, a beautiful Caucasian woman should have to pay more for only 10 pierces of tender juicy chicken? If you ask me, fuck world hunger, terrorism and starving children, we need to work on lowering the price of our KFC combo buckets. Progress starts a fuckin home y’all, and if we don’t do something quick we will be paying like 20 dollars just for 10 pieces of juicy delicious all natural processed chicken and I don’t want that can I get an amen? Thank yew for your time. *eats big mac and walks off stage*
QUESTIOn 1: What do you think the biggest problem in today's society is?
I think the biggest problem is that when I walk out in public, people always ask if I am pregnant. they say my breasts are swollen and my stomach protrudes. I always say yes. In todays society I feel that women are pregnancy shamed. Why do I have to feel guilty for my two big macs, 20 piece nugget, medium frosty, chalupa with baja sauce, and chicken fry order from various chain stores from my area? When a girl is hungry, she is hungry. There is no reason that she cant EAT. Pregnancy shouldn't be assumed. Maybe us big girls like being BIG okay?!
Question 2: Of all the great women in our herstory whose footsteps do you wish to follow and why?
Well, I like to consider myself trying to be more like oprah or mary lambert every day. What do these women have in common? They are both fat and semi well known. Yes, I don't want all the power Oprah has, but I would love for people to see me and say 'Miss Steak! We love you!". I used to love oprah as a girl. I don't like her much lately since she started talking to that evil bitch Jenny Craig though. Fuck you Jenny you're no friend of mine. You can kiss my 4 for 4's fat ASS.
TALENT: Okay for the past two hours, I've been practicing a little dance for y'all! Here, I go! #WhiteGirlsEvolving
Teehee, thank you!
Q & A:
RuTaylor: First question, what do you think is the biggest problem in today’s society?
Miss Informed: That's easy. THE TERRORISTS!! Specifically those... other folks, you know? The ones terrorizing New York City? Ice-is, is there name if I'm not mistaken. Chanting about who lives matter! WELL THEY NEED TO STOP! ICE-IS JUST STOP!!! #PrayForApollo
--
RuTaylor: Second question, of all the great women in our herstory, whose footsteps do you wish to follow, and why?
Miss Informed: Hmm.. That's a toughie, haha! Um... uh... Bella Noche? Bianca? Oh wait, its Beyonce! That's her name! *evident whisper to a producer* Am I saying that right? Is her name really... Beyonce?
