1) Tell him if he wants to enter your "club", there's a cover charge.
2) Tell him it glows in the dark just like the light saber from Star Wars.
3) Tell him Dad did (Only used during incest).
4) Tell him of the new STD where it falls off minutes after orgasm.
5) Tell him that its either a condom or he gets to change all the diapers, get up for the feedings and take on the three jobs for the rest of his life to support the lovechild.
6) Play those award winning Trojan Man Commercials for him.
7) Institute a "Try One, Get One Free" policy.
8) Its either a condom or lamination.
9) Wrap it or go home and slap it.
10) Everyone else on the football team has.
