I think it's always going to throw me through a loop thinking about the fact she isn't here anymore, losing both of my role models 6 months apart is probably the hardest thing I've ever been through...
Losing her hasn't got easier if I'm honest, I miss being able to just pop in and have a cup of tea and a chat , I miss staying over and watching the soaps with her and I miss sitting and listening to her reminisce about her life (if there's anything I suggest you do with those you love it's this).
But its got easier to live for her, to be the ambitious goal driven, dream chasing person she wanted me to be .
Idk why I write these blogs tbh , I think it helps to reflect on the good times and remember that I live for them and theyre always with me when im missing them and to remember who theyd want me to be when im low and losing myself.
If anyone else is dealing with loss and grief remember you aren't alone and it's a process, it's hard and it hurts sometimes and that's OK but always remember at the end of the day they would want you to live for them and not dwell on the fact that you're without them, because really you aren't, they're always with you willing on, their influence impacting your choices values and morals <3
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No one is going to rescue you.
You have to rescue yourself.
No one will ever feel sympathy for you. Ever.
You have to rescue yourself.
No one will ever feel sympathy for you. Ever.