15th – BELENSTENE, you Beanstalk loving freak! I’m not quite sure what your problem is. But you smelled AWFUL. And you love beanstalks, of all things. Beanstalks and the love of them went out in the late ‘90s. You need to give it up. #beanstalklover
14th – JESSE, it was either you or I. And it most certainly wasn’t going to be I. I am SO Delta Trish and I ALWAYS survive. Production wanted this. You got the short end of the stick. #deltatrished
13th – NATALIYA, you thought you could come for me, bitch? Absolutely not. You were destined for eviction. There was NOTHING you could do. You had to go bye-bye. Lisa Keiffer style. #youtried
12th – BRAVE MAN, what did you think, bitch? That you could win? That you could evict me? No. NO. None of those things would EVER happen for you in this game. You were a definite early round boot. #dealwithit
11th – KILLA NUGS, you tried to come between me and my man, Robb. He has a great, penis, I know. But there was no way he was sticking anywhere near ANY of your orifices. He fucks me only. Donkey. #jannifertwodonkeys
10th – KRISTA, what did you think, girl? That you could borrow my Trish McAvoy™ eye crème and never return it? How dare you! That came from Neiman Marcus™ in the Estèe Lauder counter. How dare you! Expensive! #iamrich
9th – WIZARD, I am sick to death of you fucking people thinking you are REAL wizards. No. You are not a real wizard. Throw the wand away. Burn the hat. You are NOT a real wizard. Get out of here! #wizardry
8th – FOREVER, you smelled like potpourri mixed with condensed milk mixed with Summer Shandese. That is DISGUSTING. Especially the Summer Shandese part. You obviously had to be taken care of. I sprayed you with Raid™! On your way out. #raidbitch
7th – CHARLY, you starting spitting some Jesus™ stuff at me last minute. You were one crazy lunatic and it’s a good thing we got you out. #psychobitch
6th – THE JOHNNY, I am so sorry we got rid of you. But I wanted Ts on both of my girl’s profiles. It was nothing personal. #justbusiness
5th – OLIVIA, you played a nice game, very quiet, loyal, compassionate. It was not enough. You dumb bitch. #nomoneyforyou
4th – ROBB, totally fucking robbed. Ugh. I saved you. That bitch Mererva or whatever. #thebitch
What. On. HOW!? Another finals?! I did it again, Tengaged™. This time, it was a bit tougher. I won competitions. Survived votes. Took out threats. And here I sit. So please, algo. PLEASE. Vote me!
