6 heatherlum, Oct 15, 2018
So in 18 days I am going to have weight loss surgery. A huge step in my life, to make my life longer. Although two lifetimes wouldn't be enough with the great friends I have made. Just wanted to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for being there for me.
I know I am going to be fine but going under for a big surgery is scary. I have faith but just in case.
If for some reason I leave this world, and I'm not going to but hey, I wanted to share this with you all.
If I leave this world I leave this site a better person then when I started. I have grown in many ways, from using the proper pronouns ( swadles ). To learning that just because others dont really like a person does not mean you cant ( 2388 ). To adopting some of the best children on this site ( tj2807 Firewolf Maddog16 ). To falling in love ( shadowman ). To finding out that I truly can write erotica.
I also leave with many friends who have gone threw hell and back with me. Who have dealt with my bipolar ass more times then I can count. I'm going to be fine but just in case I wanted to make you all aware of my true feelings.
Love each and every one of you. I'm not going to lie, I'm shitting bricks but I have this. My husband is going to keep in contact with Ella and she in turn will let people know. I should be on later that day depending on my pain.
#SmileMoreForever #Hella #HellaisHellaCute #WolfPackStrong #LearningEveryDay
17 heatherlum, Sep 10, 2018
Yes most of you know that my sister took her life but what most of you don't know is that I also have attempted it. When I was 15 I took a bottle of my dads heart pills and in the same day I tried to inject air into my veins. Life was shit. My dad was abusive. My step mom was a c--t and she pretty much hated me. I had been molested twice at that point and had not had therapy. I had done something wrong and I would have rather had been dead then deal with the abuse I knew was coming. I had seen far too much and had no one to help me. I had reached out to cps. Thinking they would help? yeah they did nothing. It was much easier to put me back in to an abusive home then to find a place for a fucked up teen to go. Go figure.
So what I did to get out? Well I took my little sister phyllie (the one that killed herself) and ran away. Because I was almost 16 cps and the cops decided to step in. They sent me to live with my sister. With out therapy again. I was a fucked up kid. I wish I could paint rainbows for you all and tell you I did this magic thing but I cant. I wont lie. I got diagnosed with Bipolar 2, anxiety and ptsd at 16 after a 21 day stint in the teen phych unit. It took me a long time to find the right doctors. I was 27 ish I think. Yes after I had my son. I woke up one day and looked around and said "fuck this, I want better then this for Mathew". I made an appointment. I found amazing doctors.
Ok so. Its not easy. I had to want to do the work. I have gone threw hell and back with my mental health. I have fears. Like my curtains have to be closed at night. I am afraid of the dark. I am afraid to be alone. All leftover trauma from my past.
Moral of the story. Your life is worth it. My life is worth it. Is it easy to drag your ass up off the bottom? Hell no. But can you do it? Hell Yeah. I did it. More times then I can count. Why? because my life is worth it. Reach out. Ask for help. Call the helpline. Talk to a teacher, hell walk into a hospital and tell them what your plan is. Is it scary? yeah but I promise you, from being on both sides of it. Suicide is not the answer. YOUR LIFE IS WORTH IT>
I am not asking for pity. I am asking that if you ever feel the need to take your life. Reach out to me. Some call me names on here but in the end I would be there for each and ever damn one of you. Even if we clashed in the past. That does not matter. What matter is saving your life.
I am so glad that all those years ago that I did not succeed. Has life been great? I'm laughing. No life was not that great and everyday I face challenges But I'll write more about that in tomorrows. It will all make sense.
So I want to end this on a positive note. Today I am grateful for my friends on here. Some old, some new but all of you have been there for me. Hugs to each of you and know my door is always open.
#SmilemoreForever Tj2807 M_davis1998 Firewolf #Freindsbeforewins..
14 heatherlum, Jul 28, 2018
I was going to hide my reason for leaving err backing off but f--k it. I have a girlfriend. I don't have time for tg anymore lol. Having Raven and my husband is hard and time consuming, plus Mathew always comes first and them second. So that's why I'm stepping back.
After five years, four months, and eleven days I am officially retiring from here. I'm not leaving, just no longer going to be playing games unless its a charity or random game with friends. Its been a trip. Want to take a few moments for say thank you to a few friends for making my time here amazing
Tj2807 -Teej, my adopted son, your an amazing kid. I love you and thanks for being a part of my journey, I'm always going to be there for you. Your will always be my first real friend on here. Who knew a old hag could be friends with a kid? lol.
M_Davis1998 Simba, threw the ups and downs you have been my best friend on here for a long time. We may have went our own ways but in my eyes you will always be Pres. I love you and wish you the best of luck. Your an amazing kid, keep it up and remember #SmileMoreForever #Serabi&Simba4ever
Icarus_Mark Marky, i miss you. Thanks for always being there for me. Leaving this for the most part not skype. Love you.
Firewolf G, my adopted child. You may not like me right now but remember i'm always there for you. I love you kid. Your a great person. Don't forget it, or i kick your ass. Ohh and eat.
Maddog16 tcold312 @Scoob0000 moneyshot GoodKaren Krisstea lawblondie
Lazeric 2388
Thanks for the ride, you all have been amazing. I love each and everyone of you. keep me posted. I still have skype.
So I'm leaving this site with a new found sense of self and a better idea of who i am. I am Heather.
"There can be no rainbow with out the rain" I have found my rainbow. May you all find yours. Many hugs.
