Hey everyone! I’m pretty excited to be sitting here. This has been a rollercoaster of a season, and for there to be two of us here at the end at all is a testament to Lilly’s heart. Thank you for picking things up after the Kolbtastrophe at final five. Perhaps the Black Forest was nothing more than a metaphor for Kolby’s personal demons. It is my hope that us finishing this season will work towards shifting the cosmic scale back in Kolby’s favor. So with that, let’s talk a bit about Germany.
A small cast to start things off, and a season that reeked of simplicity right off the bat. The red herring of the season’s sub-title got me for a while, but the only swap ended up being Logan’s mutiny and the biggest twist was how stupidly difficult it was to locate the hidden immunity idols. The Black Forest proved too difficult, I think, to find those idols pre-merge. I made a guess that that’s actually what the Black Forest meant, but Kolby got lost in those same woods, so we may never know the truth.
I started this game interested in forming strong social connections. I really liked the way the tribes were initially split, and I knew I didn’t have to focus on the far future. With Robby on the other tribe (whom I will admit is the only reason I even applied in the first place), I felt that if I got comfortable enough with the people I didn’t know, the merge phase would be manageable. There were a lot of things I didn’t foresee that ended up making things more difficult, and I ABSOLUTELY benefitted from Kolby quitting and pausing the game for three weeks. That being said, my goal of making merge with Robby became reality. I got real close with Violet and Cole in this pre-merge process. I’ve known TJ going back a few years, so I just tried to really play that up. TJ, to his obvious credit, is an incredible person and a savvy player. We think along similar lines, and it always feels easy to talk with him.
Going back to those unexpected obstacles, I really wanted to get Logan on my side early on this game. I knew he was always a super wildcard and had a bag-full of wrenches intent on havoc. I knew Logan since the very first season of Kolby’s Survivor I ever played. We started on the same tribe in Thailand too, and I knew his antics from there. I also had the privilege of hosting him for my first season back a little over a year ago. His decision to mutiny was something I truly did not see coming, although in retrospect it is so obvious. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of making him feel comfortable, but that was clearly wrong. Despite my shortcomings, I wanted to keep that possibility open in the future should we both make merge, so I continued to have sparing conversation.
That’s the essence of what I want you all to see. I played really hard in the social department. I tried not to make any promises I couldn’t keep, and I tried to be likeable. In the Tribe Dynamics challenge, I won the popular vote for “Who would you most trust with your life?” and “Who would you most want to hang out with in real life?”. At the time, Violet was dominating the social-scale, but I had a subtle, yet substantial, lead ahead of the rest of you. I am really proud of how I managed to keep myself in everyone’s good graces despite being such a threat.
Coming into the game, I was immediately pegged as the only player to have previously won Kolby’s Survivor. That first tribal council, Kolby made it clear to me that I was going to have to work to win again. He didn’t let that fact slide under the radar, and brought it out into the open for everyone to understand. I still got here, and I really think my social connections paved the way for my journey. I didn’t do a perfect job. The ultimate goal of Survivor is to play a perfect game, and to control each and every vote. I didn’t do that for shit. I literally ended up voting for Robby three tribal councils in a row towards the end and he stayed up until the one tribal I didn’t vote for him. My strategy was meant to get Violet and Cole and TJ and myself as far as possible. That didn’t work as I’d hoped. Before I go into great detail about Zee (and how he was a big wrench in this plan), I’ll mention how Robby did a great job of making us four feel comfortable going into the merge with the Robby’s Renegades Alliance. That was good. I don’t know why I didn’t see that you were going to only work with us for one vote. I think I came to that realization like fifteen minutes before votes were being read when I was on my way home in the car. Robby and Julian were the reason the four of us (Violet, Cole, TJ, and myself) were asleep at the wheel the night Violet went home. Well, that AND my overt trust in Zee.
Zee was really the biggest absolute enigma for me in this game. At first, I didn’t suspect much. I hadn’t heard your name before, and didn’t do my research about where you come from in the Tengaged world. I am really glad we got to communicate though, and I hope you know that our conversations really did come from the heart. It was in the peak of game-time, and I will openly admit I was hoping it would go a ways in you trusting me, but I really did enjoy our conversations. You ended up being really cool, and really fuckin’ scary in the game. I fought every instinct to try to keep you in the game, if not for the primary reason that you were a big shield for me. The other reasons were what blinded me to your intelligence and savviness. Going back to the Violet vote, I really had a premature read of you at that time. I thought I could control you and that was a big slap in the face to realize I was the one that was naive.
So yeah, my strategic game was flawed. As soon as Violet left, I let that fact sit and digest. I knew I had to double down on the social element if I stood a chance, so I decided to keep at it with my efforts with Zee and to choose Robby as the scapegoat. I figured Robby was thinking the same thing I was and didn’t want to see me at the end (just like I didn’t want to see him there), and I figured I could go down the path of trying to get Robby out before he got me. I also hoped that if I went strong enough for Robby, Zee would change course and give me some definitive signs of an allegiance I could work with.
Once Zee emerged as a true threat and Robby became a clear enemy, I knew there would be times I’d need to win immunity to stay alive. I gave up trying to find idols pre-merge, and although I did look for a while during the merge phase, found nothing at all. So my physical strength was definitely a factor in me being here. I think it is safe to say that if I didn’t win the last two challenges I’d be gone for sure and Zee would be here. But I won, and more than those two, I won five total individual immunity challenges, and proved that I was the biggest physical presence here. Some may see that as a weakness of sorts, but I argue that many, if not all, of you know of my abilities in these group game competitions. I should have been voted out first tribal council at merge, but I had laid a strong foundation to my game that allowed me to get past those critical points of vulnerability. Even if you didn’t know of my strength in challenges, I proved to many of you in my communications alone that I was a threat. For everyone with the exception of Kevin, I made great efforts to work with. In Germany, I have been really really proud of the way I played in terms of social and physical gameplay. While my strategic gameplay did lack throughout, I did make a few strategic plays late-game that I’d like to talk about.
Betraying Julian was something that ended up being really difficult. I promised Julian final two in the day leading up to Zee’s elimination. I was pretty sure that Zee and him were going to vote for TJ together, and wanted to do what I could to prevent a tie. I offered Julian a promise that I knew I’d have to potentially break and hoped it would be enough for him to vote out Zee. I think there were other things that TJ will take credit for in that night that went towards tipping the scales, but I felt at the time it was necessary for me to extend this offer to make the final three challenge as easy as possible. Like I said earlier, I figured I had to win to stay alive, so I was really focused on that. The last hour has been tough coming to actually face that reality, and I do feel terrible. I absolutely defend that it was a necessary game move, and a good one at that, but I do wish it could have been possible a different way. Without these assurances to Julian, I think Zee would have potentially beat TJ in a tiebreaker, and then gone on to beat me today in the final immunity challenge. Without that move, I had a much lesser chance of making it to this point here. I really think it was essential, and for that I need to own it. For whatever consequences that result with Julian, I need to accept them.
All that being said, I truly think I played the better game. From beginning to end, I was able to maneuver myself to stay alive, and did so while growing genuine connections with you guys. I am proud of what I was able to accomplish, and I hope you all can see my efforts and understand just how hard I worked to get here. My social bonds were strong, and my physical presence was stronger. I was adaptable and resilient. Despite my failed strategies, I kept my head in the game and focused on the days ahead. I made smart plays when they mattered and stayed in the shadows during the fireworks. Despite all the chaos in the Black Forest, I was able to survive thirty-nine days with the biggest Day One target in the entire cast. Despite the Renegades Ransacking and despite the Kolbpocalypse, I was able to get here, and I was strong enough to bring TJ with me. For that, I deserve the fake million dollar prize and the title of Sole Survivor.
I will answer anything you jurors got. Good luck TJ, and may the best Danube win!
