Nicky: Our next guest is a comedy sketch icon, Chris Lilley! Oh? Who- who is tha-



Hi! Im Ja'mie king. My name is actually Jamie but I added the apostrophe in year 8.

Nicky: Oh, why?

Well Jamie is kind of a guys name, and I used to be friends with this girl called Brianna and … well she's kind of got fat… so I didn’t really want to look like a border.

Nicky: A border?

Oo yep. A fat lesbian border. Basically we have heaps of lesbians at the school and they all live on farms and shit.

They change into the school jersey like straight after the bell rings. They’re all pretty much confirmed lesbians. Omg there’s this fat lesbian border called Erin Walker and she looks like someone’s pumped her up or something.

Nicky: Ok… The sensational new bipoic about Oadira Davenport is due to open next weekend. It's called _____

It’s called “Oadira Davenport is seriously the fugliest girl I have ever seen in my entire life”.

Ethan: Excuse me? Do you need a tampon Ja’mie?

Oh do u wanna stick it in me. Enjoy staring at my ass as I walk away. *Walks off set*


Nicky: Meryl Streep has become so famous she no longer wants to recognised; she becoming a man and changing her name to ____

She’s changing her name to Abimbola Makawaka. So basically I live in a really rich area and all the outer trashy suburbs are full of blacks. And we don’t really have many blacks because you need to be smart to get into Hillford but they all sort of live in shacks in the outskirts. She would fit in there because they have like asbestos in the fucking roofs. I never get on the train that stops there. I dont wanna get raped or something. There’s only one african I like, Kwami.

Mukbang: Oo hes hot!

Those sexy Kardashian sisters are starring in a new sci-fi epic called "Star _______
It’s called star Quiche.

Basically quiche is a word that I made up. It basically means hot, but like a step above hot. Like rootable. Hot till the point you wanna have sex with them. Like for example I would say I’m quiche but Ruby Velvet is not because
But shes still my sister because!...


They have camped up this year's sequel to Jurassic Park, it's now called Jurassic _______

It’s now called Jurassic Asians! I find the ching chong people hilarious. We have some at our school and they’re like crap at sports but I’m still smarter than them.



Last week I got in a selfie with them and hashtagged it #FriedRice. Omg im so rando.

In your characters create a Disaster Film title relating to one of your sister queens. No holds barred.

Ok! I call this movie Attack Of The Gross Emo Lesbian Borders!
*Ja’mie gets a poster out that shows Ruby, Kamora, Rachel and Enobaria sitting around a table. She’s drawn speech bubbles over each one*
So this one is Ruby. And it says “I’m so dumb I think being of somewhat relevance in episode 6 makes me qualify as something more than a trashy lesbian floater”
OOh! And this one is Rachel “I live in a council house because I’m too obese to afford actual housing” HAha!
Kamora’s one says “I think my morbid obesity gives me some sort of personality trait!” Like bitch no! You’re not quiche.
And Enobaria’s says “Tryhard asian!”
*Accidentally texts poster to the group skype chat*
Shit-
*Ruby, Kamora, Rachel and Enobaria’s phones ping*
Enobaria: What the fuck is this?
Ruby: Ja’mie you’re just a trashy bogan that thinks shes funny.

Rachel: No and I don’t live in a council house, it’s just tempora-
Well maybe you should stop giving your dad blowjobs and tell him to get a job- oh wait your dad left. Skank.
*Everyone attacks Ja’mie*

OmG I can’t breathe! I think I’m having a panic attack!


Nicky: And that’s about all we have time for today heh… *Two paramedics run in* Bye.

Runway:

https://imgur.com/a/0OYhlob

Caught in an earthquake.

*Yanks wig off*

https://imgur.com/a/Gbwu5Fu

Serving Volcano.

Donut Ella

Runway Voiceover : No wonder, the world has gone to wreck. Bringing you post apocalyptic gladiator bitch. Its the hunger games, bitches. But... for real real.

Complete Look : https://i.imgur.com/cAERON3.png
Close Up : https://i.imgur.com/XwPzhPe.png

-Mukbang-

Joco: let's welcome Sovient Union Gymnastics trainer miss Iryna Blokhina!

Hello Roobs, hello Nyoko im so heppi to be here in the states again, just got back from winning another gold medal in minsk with my girls. only one lost her fingers. life is gud!

The sensational new bipoic about Oadira Davenport is due to open next weekend. It's called _____

It's called Smile. there's nothing better than u can do as a gymnest to leave a good impression than a smile. learnt it from my trainer. great man.
once in the USSR i stopped smiling. it was my mother's funeral. my trainer Bella. .... back there it's a boys name, made me drag a bag full of beets on my back and from the weight i broke joint 7 *cracks neck intensely* but i didn't give up! i left joint there and went back training. since then i smile


*phone alarm goes off*
Oh! it's time for my lunch do u mind if we take a little break?
Joco: uhh.. sure?
*takes out a block of cheese*

whew..that was a feast, i felt like it was thanksgiving again!

Joco: alright.. moving on!!
Meryl Streep has become so famous she no longer wants to recognised; she becoming a man and changing her name to ____

Yeguslayev Nikita Timashenko. she'll change it to that and we will never hear from her again. my dad and his cult are still on the haunt for him!. he was my therapist who put me in the psych ward back in 1999. said i was a "sadistic psycopath that treats her trainees inhumanely"
that's such bullcrap! all because i didn't let Vera give birth. we were in Moscow in the middle of the competition how could i? that's a 5 point penalty! average labour takes about 6 hours. thats 120 practice days

Those sexy Kardashian sisters are starring in a new sci-fi epic called "Star _______

STAR FLAT TUMMY TEA! *smiles and poses*
are they going to sponsor me now? i need them to give me some for Natasha that fat cow went up 0.000117 pounds i need her to be ready for the competition in Beijing.
*a voice comes out of iryna's suitcase*
MY NAME IS ASHLEY!
Iryna: Ashley you'll be on facebook when old indian men send u emojis in chat. NATASHA!

Joco: was... was that a voice coming out of your suitcase?

Iryna: well i said i was with my girls! *opens suitcase and 5 girls come out*
Yekaterina, Anastasia, Olga, Natasha and Svetlana
*rubes and joco shocked*
Iryna: I KNOW RIGHT? i was like that too when they wanted me to pay for extra luggage. i mean how can 5 girls weight more than 30 pounds?
Iryna: go sit on the bench there girls but keep practicing in your head!

Joco: guess we have an audience now! let's move on
They have camped up this year's sequel to Jurassic Park, it's now called Jurassic ______
JURASSIC DINO NATASHA! NATASHAAAAAAA!!!! joco did u just see that hippo eating a sunflower seed? COME HERE NATASHA
Natasha: but i ate one.. im going out to the movies with friends later i needed something to stop the hunger so i won't think of the popcorn..
Iryna: oooh... now you eating sunflower seed.... tomorrow you're at mcdonalds ordering the big mac BAM! next week you're ordering a small martini and chips because you're with the "girls" BAM! a guy with a mustache drugs your drink BAM! you wake up with a scar where your kidney's used to be.
Natasha: But.. B.. But.. *starts crying hysterically*
Iryna: But But But! you can't cry you haven't drank since you were 6 you got no minerals left. go scream in the bathroom. and get the sunflower seed back its Valeriya's birthday next month.

As an extra bonus round- in your characters create a Disaster Film title relating to one of your sister queens
For Sylvia it will be The Balloons That Sunk Our Golden Cruise
Joco: wait hold on who is Sylvia?
*iryna points at Sassina*
i did not allow blooming balloons... *points at her tits* i don't even allow my girls to have their period.
now i know Sylvia is something called a "bio queen" and she can't help it
but i suggest she takes this chest binder and if she wants on her way she can get a justin timberlake haircut so people just think she's a lesbian.
and don't get me wrong i care for my girls! she needs to do it because how else will we be able to all fit in the ship tank? after that luggage issue im not paying for a plane!
i know that if something bad happens me and my girls will float but she won't!
~~
Joco: And.. this is it for today! did u have fun Iryna? any chance of having you back here?

Iryna: oh you know im busy lady! i have a lot of things to do in these upcoming months.. more training, competitions in milan, tokyo, kyiv, visitng Luda in the hospital

Joco: .. why is luda in the hospital?

Iryna: well that depends how it goes in kyiv i already ordered an ambulance standby!
ByeBye!
~~~~~
Runway: https://imgur.com/a/tioxkdO
Guess leaving the fire on was a bad idea

Donut Ella as Donald Trump

Rubes : And now, he appeared on “Home Alone” and many other titles, but I haven’t heard from him ever since, right, Donald Trump? What are you up to?

Donald : I am now the president of the entire world! The people were so happy with my American run that they wanted me to rule the whole planet! Or at least that’s what my caretaker, Sarah Huckabee, told me.

Nicky : That’s not true... you didn’t even have enough people at your inauguration!

Donald : Fake news! You are the news. So you’re fake. We couldn’t show the real pic of the crowd at my inauguration because casually all of our phones died. And there was a huge blackout. You couldn’t see, but also Jesus came down from the sky to congratulate me. But I guess the media didn’t show that.

1)
Rubes : The sensational new biopic about Oadira Davenport is due to open next weekend. It's called _____

“ Golden Showers”. I love everything gold. I like to touch everything that’s gold with my huge hands which also reflects the big penis I have.

*Shows his baby hands*

And Oadira knows what I’m talking about. She let me grab her pussy and piss on her. Everything went so well that we also signed a non disclosure deal on it! And that is why we only talk about that!

2)
Nicky : Meryl Streep has become so famous she no longer wants to recognised; she becoming a man and changing her name to ____

Donald : I don’t care. She’s the most overrated actress in Hollywood. She’s even more crooked than Hillary! Speaking of which... why isn’t everyone talking about her? All you are like “Oh Donald banned trans from the army” “Oh Donald exited the international accord on pollution” “Oh Donald here, Donald there”. But what about crooked Hilary? Nobody is watching her! Why? *starts baby crying* go impeach her!

Rubes : Oh don’t worry baby! Look what I have for you!

*Rubes hands Donald a pacifier*

*Donald sucks a little and falls asleep*

Donald : *in his sleep with a baby voice* yes mama, I want to dry that swamp.

3)
Rubes : Those sexy Kardashian sisters are starring in a new sci-fi epic called "Star _______

*Donald has a crown on his head*

Donald : Royalty! I am soon to be the emperor of the entire galaxy and the Kardashians will be my servants! I like that Kanye guy... he gets it. We don’t need Muslims or black people. We want them out of this country. And this is what Kanye always tell me “Let’s expatriate those ni-“.

Nicky : You can’t say that word!

Donald : And you can’t say that I said what you said I said. And even if I said what you said I said, I wouldn’t be sad.

Rubes : *to Nicky* I think he’s on overload

Donald : *like a broken machine* Covfefe! Fake news! Putin has the tastiest dick I have ever tried! Ivanka is the sexiest girl I have ever grabbed by the pussy!

4)
They have camped up this year's sequel to Jurassic Park, it's now called Jurassic ______

Donald : Wall! Let’s build that wall! It’s not a secret Jurassic World is full of Mexican dinosaurs and bad hombres who only want to come to America to steal our dinasaurs’ jobs! I’ve heard there is a caravan of them coming from some shithole country towards us right now! They are bad people, people who are bad. They do bad things and they let us think they are bad. Because that’s what they do... being bad!

5) Rubes : Now on for a bonus round! What do you have for us, Donald?

Donald : I wrote “Charity B bad”. I hate doing charity. If they can’t raise those many themselves, it means they don’t deserve it. (And before you ask, yes, that’s something I really said irl).

Nicky : Can you give us a little round of the plot?

Donald : I would if I saw it, they told its good. And I’m an intelligent person. I’m probably the most intelligent person in this seat right now. So you can trust me.

Can I go play with the other kids now?

Rubes : I-

Nicky : Sure, Donny, go ahead!

*Donald walks out the room with a golf club on his shoulders*

I love being the president.

× Enobaria ×

Snatch Game:

https://adivisenahdi2.wordpress.com/2019/06/07/enobaria-snatch-game/

Runway:

https://imgur.com/gallery/fPgmZyp

Did I survive to the wreckage? Baby, I made the wreckage!

joco: it is absolutely fabulous to have her here lets welcome Edina monsoon
Edina: https://vocaroo.com/i/s1LqEb4s24LE

joco: The sensational new bipoic about Oadira Davenport is due to open next weekend. It's called _____
Edina: https://vocaroo.com/i/s04jVnmCMNRP

joco: Meryl Streep has become so famous she no longer wants to recognised; she becoming a man and changing her name to ____
Edina: https://vocaroo.com/i/s0DzK9Hgm92y

joco: Those sexy Kardashian sisters are starring in a new sci-fi epic called "Star _______
Edina: https://vocaroo.com/i/s0FFPnKViqN3

joco: They have camped up this year's sequel to Jurassic Park, it's now called Jurassic _______
Edina: https://vocaroo.com/i/s1oDy0nDkDYZ

runway: https://imgur.com/V0KKZwm

Nijoco: Up next for our Movie Edition Snatch Game it’s famous Big Brother star, who also starred in the movie called A Family Outing, it’s Nikki Grahme

Nikki: Hello everyone it is the legend herself!

Nijoco: It’s such an honor to have you here Nikki!

Nikki: Thank you, you know everyone loves me so you obviously had to bring me here

Nijoco: How’s life treating you by the way

Nikki: It’s absolutely dreadful, like you don’t know how hard it is to stay in the spotlight and people keep treating my like garbage. Speaking of which can you get me a beer, I’m quite thirsty

Nijoco: Uh I can’t really do that I’m hosting

Nikki: UGH I have to do everything myself!

*Nikki storms off as Nijoco gives a look to the camera*

Nijoco: Uh yeah moving on as we wait for her to return

----------------------------

Nijoco: Welcome back Nikki, did you find your be-

*Nikki is wiping her tears from face with a tissue*

Nikki: Someone stole my fucking beer and now I have nothing to drink and I’m fucking THIRSTY!

Nijoco: Well can you answer this question for us?

Nikki: I guess

Nijoco: Alright The sensational new bipoic about Oadira Davenport is due to open next weekend. It's called _____

Nikki: I put down Life As A Peasant, like the ones I had to work for on my show, Princess Nikki, I tried to do an average day’s job but it was bloody disgusting

Nijoco: So you’re saying Oadira is a peasant

Nikki: Well I haven’t seen her do much, just host a dreadful show reviewing shit fashion and being overall terrible and two faced

Nijoco: Oh two faced?

Nikki: Well she’s trying to pass off as a female, but she barely passes off as a man so I don’t understand how she can do that. Like who is she? Where did you find her?

Nijoco: Well thank you for your answer… and doing one of your memorable quotes Nikki let’s move on

----------------------------

Nijoco: Alright moving back to- Where did you get the wine?

Nikki: I stole it from your co-host, Ruben wasn’t it? They aren’t the brightest bulb so it was quite easy.

Nijoco: Well can you answer this next question

Nikki: I’m starting to get annoyed at you asking me questions, it’s like getting too much work! And I’m freezing in here, like I’m going to catch a cold or something.

Nijoco: We’ll see if we can turn up the AC, now tell me Meryl Streep has become so famous she no longer wants to recognised; she becoming a man and changing her name to ____

Nikki: Well Meryl Streep is an amazing actress, and it alarms me to hear of what she’s doing, I put down her name would be Pete.

Nijoco: Oh didn’t you and Pete date during Big Brother?

Nikki: Don’t be a dumbass, I didn’t Meryl Streep during Big Brother, we haven’t even been on a season together

Nijoco: Oh I meant the other Pete

Nikki: Oh don’t talk about him, he ended things and I was absolutely disgusted, we patched things up however so we’re friends now.

Nijoco: That’s why Meryl Streep has that name?

Nikki: What name? What was the question again?

Nijoco: ...Moving on

----------------------------

Nijoco: Alright coming back to Nikki! How you holding up?

Nikki: I feel like dying, this morning I had diarrhea, it doesn’t feel good having diarrhea on this day since you can barely go for a potty break. Like I’m having really bad cramps and it’s hurt really bad.

Nijoco: Well I have a question for you

Nikki: UGH this is getting too much WOOORRRK I JUST WANT TO QUITTT

Nijoco: Calm down Nikki, just answer thisThose sexy Kardashian sisters are starring in a new sci-fi epic called "Star _______”

Nikki: I don’t fucking know! It could be star cornflakes for all I care! For it being the Kardashian’s the movie is going to way too expensive like do you understand movie prices these days? It’s ridiculous!

Nijoco: Oh I bet

Nikki: I thought I asked you to turn down the AC I’m fucking cooollld, I’m going to die here and it’s going to be YOUR FAULT, Like you don’t have any humantity in you! You’re just one cold BASTARD

Nijoco: Uhhhh MOVING ON!

----------------------------

Nijoco: Nikki are you doing okay?

Nikki: I don’t get what I FUCKING WHAT AND YOU”RE TRYING TO KILL ME AHHHHH

Nijoco: Just answer this final question

Nikki: I WANT TO GO HOME!!! IT'S NOT FAIR THAT I GET TO BE HERE

Nijoco: Uh…  They have camped up this year's sequel to Jurassic Park, it's now called Jurassic _______

NIkki: IT'S TOO MUCH WORK UGGHHHH
*Nikki suddenly bends over backwards into a spider walk and falls to the ground having a complete tantrum*

Nijoco: Well I don’t think that’s a match… and that’s all we have for this edition of Snatch Game see you next time!

Nikki: AHHHHWFEREFDASDVEFDVERD *Nikki begins beating the ground*

Runway:
https://i.imgur.com/7iTHrGU.png

CF: What disaster did I pick? Well I decided to keep riding the freaky and weird train as long as possible and pick a Zombie Apocalypse. My poor self got bitten and turned into a zombie, where a survivor was able to shoot me three time in the head and have blood go everywhere.

Runway:
In a world crumbling to dust post a nuclear explosion, caused by a combination of Rebel Wilson's flatulence and particularly dodgy curry, Mad Maxina S. Slavia is surviving by the tips of her nails....and by having REALLY BIG GUNS. This summer, coming to a cinema near no one at all, Apocalypse Naan: Thaal of Humanity!
*Trailer soundtrack: *

http://imgur.com/a/AHXF4mE

Challenge:

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1vocvOUgxAj

The sensational new biopic about Oadira Davenport is due to open next weekend. It's called _____
https://vocaroo.com/i/s036xiwokeK6



Meryl Streep has become so famous she no longer wants to recognised; she is becoming a man and changing her name to ____
https://vocaroo.com/i/s1TWhO5YwmfQ



Those sexy Kardashian sisters are starring in a new sci-fi epic called "Star _______”
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0WtzupzdLft



They have camped up this year's sequel to Jurassic Park, it's now called Jurassic _______
https://vocaroo.com/i/s01MAhEvudbD

Alright everyone! Lets give a warm welcome to our next contestant/celebrity Natasha Lyonne. I am SO glad you could make it!

Thank you, thank you. You see, it takes a lady some time to get ready. You think I woke up this this buddy? No, take it back. I had to go through several very trendy looks to be suited fairly amongst such fashion excellence. Ya know, my queer iconhood is a stake here after all.

Well I think you hold your part just fine dear. Moving on-

“Wait, Rupaul, dear. I just wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to learn about my new Netflix show- yes available now. I knew you wouldn’t mind adding this bit RuPaul, I told you we are pretty similar after all! *winks*

________________________

Alright alright alright! Lets move on down to our next contestant Natasha! So, what did you say the new bipoc about Oadira Davenport is called?

I said Pussy licking good.
Who doesn’t love to lick a good pussy? And that queen is pure fish, no?  I did have to do a bit more uh, natural research than most actresses and well- I guess all I will say is she was definitely at one of the OITNB launching parties.

   
___________________________

Nasaha Lyonne! What say you? Those sexy Kardashians are starring in the latest sci-fi, its called Jurassic-

“I put Hydrochronic. Lets face it, the Kardashians wouldn’t last a god damn second in Jurassic Park, they’d just start running and calling their manager. Like really, *knock* *knock* its all just dope and water in there!

Runway;

https://imgur.com/a/RHllAlC