Aron Rosón stands outside of “The Brew (Or Whatever)” and looks at the flyer he was given one more time.
ARON: “Giving out free cups of coffee at 1am seems weird but free coffee is free coffee!”
As Aron walks up to the front door, he spots a deer out of the corner of his eye. The deer paws the ground and blows smoke out of its nostril.
ARON: “Not again.”
Aron runs down a nearby alley as the deer chases him. Aron’s escape down the alley is cut short when he runs into a fence.
Before Aron can climb the fence, the deer stabs him in the back with its antlers. A masked figure stands at the start of the alley and whistles, which makes the deer run off. Aron glances back at the figure.
ARON: “I’m not dying tonight!”
Aron begins to climb the fence, ignoring the “Waring: High Voltage When On” sign. The figure shakes their head as they walk over to a bright switch and flips it on. The electric fence turns on and Aron begins to get electrocuted.
The electric currents become too much for Aron’s body and he explodes. The figure gags a little.
The figure turns the fence off as another masked figure walks down the alley with a power washer. The other figure turns the power washer on and washes Aron’s remains off the fence and down a nearby fence.
FEBRUARY 12TH, 2013.
A chipper Karolyn Vega stands in front of a big green screen set-up in the News Club room, as Owen Rosenfield holds up a camera recording her. Josie is blasting "You Bring Me Joy" by Amelia Lily while Alyxandria shows Sana her artwork.
OWEN: “Going live in 3… 2… 1…”
KAROLYN: “Josie, turn that disgusting Amelia Lily song o- Welcome fellow Lakeview students to our daily edition of our News Club recaps. Hm, do I smell love in the air… or is that the complete and utter desperation that comes with the Valentine’s Day here at Lakeview High? And with Valentine’s Day comes the annual Black Hearts formal here at Lakeview High. Tickets are up for sale! You don't technically need a date but if you show up alone it's going to be really sad."
Karolyn raises a brow at Josie, who grabs another cue card and holds it up for Karolyn to continue reading out loud, as Sana keeps staring at Alyxandria's drawings.
SANA: "These are really good! I specifically like the one with that brunette devil woman feasting off of people's organs. You're really creative!"
ALYXANDRIA: "You mean the one where I drew Karolyn? Yeah, that one looks dope-"
KAROLYN: "Can you guys shut up?! You're ruining the audio!"
Karolyn huffs as the recording stops, storming over to Sana and Alyxandria's table.
ALYXANDRIA: "Hey Karolyn, I know you didn't like my pitch for the art column but if you just took a quick look at these drawings, I think you'd really like them-"
KAROLYN: "Not this… Listen, I have a shit ton on my plate already. I have to organise Dalton's search party for today while simultaneously try to prove to everyone that Elijah Rothschild is full of shit and most likely a serial killer who is getting rid of all the popular, pretty people!"
SANA: "I don't know… That Elijah dude seems pretty chill! He gave me a Santigold vinyl for free!"
ALYXANDRIA: "You know what, Karolyn?!"
Alyxandria stands up, signing.
ALYXANDRIA: "I'm sick of your tactics. You were the one who forced me into this club. If my voice isn't gonna be heard in this club, then what's the point of being in it?! I quit!"
Alyxandria storms off before Karolyn can respond, as one Fern Mayfield takes note of her.
FEBRUARY 12TH, 2013.
STUDENT COUNCIL MEETING.
Bronwyn Hartfeld clears her throat.
BRONWYN: “Good morning everyone, and welcome to our weekly Student Council meeting. Today we are joined by… a new face. Please welcome Elijah Rothschild as our non-elected new member of the Student Council!”
Bronwyn practically swoons as she points at the person sitting next to her, Elijah Rothschild. The latter waves to the rest of the Student Council, who are visibly unimpressed.
BRONWYN: “Okay, so, if anyone doesn’t have any questions, I’d like to address the Black Hearts party.”
LUCY: “Okay, so, we’re in need of a performer for the Black Hearts party. Luckily, I’m actually mutuals with Armond Rizzo on Twitter and-”
JORDAN: “Actually, no. I have something to say.”
Jordan rolls her eyes, leaning closer to Bronwyn.
JORDAN: “Bronwyn… sweetie… Are you just gonna start letting every guy you have a crush on into our Student Council meetings without our permission? I mean, no offense Alvin.”
LUCY: “But now *we* said it! Besides, it’s not like they’re actually that hot. Like, invite Christian from the wrestling team or something. Now that’s a man I would risk obliging to my religion for. No offense, Alvin.”
ALVIN: “I… would very much like to be excluded from this narrative.”
Bronwyn narrows her eyes at Lucy and Jordan.
BRONWYN: “Um, as far as *I’m* concerned, 𝓔𝓵𝓲𝓳𝓪𝓱 was the one who had the idea of a very successful farmers’ market in the first place, and ALSO, I am the Student Body president and my word is final.”
ERICA: “Geez, where is this attitude coming from? We’re part of the Student Council too and we’re just expressing our concerns.”
BRONWYN: “There is absolutely NOTHING to be concerned about. Elijah is staying and that’s final. And if anyone here has a problem with that, they can LEAVE.”
ERICA: “It kinda seems like you guys are the problem, Bron.”
BRONWYN: “OKAY, FINE! THEN I’LL LEAVE!”
Bronwyn rushes out of the Student Council room, crying uncontrollably, as Elijah looks at the group in regret.
ELIJAH: “I’m… sorry about that. I didn’t mean to step on your guys’ toes-”
ALVIN: “No, it’s OK. She’s like that most of the times.”
Elijah nods understandingly.
ELIJAH: “Well, uh, I should probably go check on her. Again, sorry for everything.”
Elijah smiles at the group before heading out to the hallway, following Bronwyn.
BRONWYN: “I just don’t… (sniff) understand why… (sniff) everyone at the Student Council would say such a thing…”
ELIJAH: “It’s OK, Bronwyn. Jordan is just a nasty slag who’s obviously threatened by you.”
BRONWYN: “That seems a bit harsh, don’t you think? She’s actually a super nice perso-”
Suddenly Elijah grabs Bronwyn forcefully and stares directly at her, their eyes beginning to glow up.
ELIJAH: “Remember what we talked about?”
BRONWYN: “Yes, sir.”
Elijah breaks off the stare, before patting Bronwyn’s shoulder.
ELIJAH: “You know what to do. See ya at lunchtime.”
He walks down the hallway, as a bunch of girls and gays begin staring at him and swooning after him like he was a celebrity.
EPISODE THEME SONG:
Episode begins in 5PM EST as scheduled!! See you guys then x
TODAY: A cute lil' search party for Dalton Jefferson is going to take place on 7PM EST. Presence is optional but it's also mandatory! And also be on the lookout for an alarming number of wild animals that have recently started showing up in Lakeview in the wake of the vengeful deer's death. Lucy Luscious, you're over. 💀
TOMORROW: The Black Hearts Valentine's Day party hosted at the school gymnasium! The Student Council worked really hard on it so you better show up!
THURSDAY: A good ol' pep rally! Good cluck Lakeview Chickens! (For realsies this time...?)
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