Talian: Ladies and gentlemen, Anne Hathaway is here!

https://imgur.com/UdtmkH8

Anne: Here's your large iced coffee late, no sugar, double cream, foam on the side, double shot of mocca, caffeine free, two pumps of caffeine. Also, your twin babies crystal and enorbaria were given copies of the new bible because the world is ending, yeah, I talked to Jesus before his  second coming and he agreed to release the new manuscript me before it's anticipated release, also, don't worry about that rash, I got you a cream for it.

Talian: My goodness Anne, how on EARTH did you manage all of this?

Anne: When there's a will, Anne Hathaway.

Talian: Speaking of Will, The Pit Crew is going crazy! To enhance their package they’re now putting [BLANK] in their [BLANK] !

https://imgur.com/0eD7mw8

[pause]

I didn't realize enhancing your body was so criminally insane. I suggest the pit crew are putting their sweaters in their pile of... STUFF.

Talian: A pile of... stuff.

Anne: It's a euphemism for dick, get your mind out of the gutter

Talian: Fatty McFatface is so fat that she isn’t eating her good snacks anymore, she’s now eating her [BLANK] .



Talian: Oh no Anne, why do you feel so sad?

Anne: *starts singing*

Fatty would never share her snacks with me,
which is why I'm so skinny,
and successful,
and pretty,
while she's so
Faaaaat
I dreamed a dream as time goes by
That fatty would stop storing hershey kisses in her pussy
BUT THERE ARE DREAMS THAT CANNOT BEEEEEEEEEE

Talian: THAT's enough there, Anne. Stop singing. Thank you.

Anne: I have never felt so disrespected like that since James Franco cohosted with me at the oscars

Talian: Speaking of disrepectful, Queenish- uh oh I'm sorry I mean KIMORA’s cheeks are a medical mystery. Last week she went to the surgeon and she said [BLANK]

v

Talian: But a pretty moose

Anne: Makes all the other moose go WAHHhh!!!

Thank you Anne for joining us at the snatch game today

Runway: https://imgur.com/ktgwt7f

The women of my haus are known for showing as much body as possible, so while the category called for dressing up, I wanted to give a classic look of how you can dress up without barely dressing at all.

And boys, I'm edible.

;)

SNATCH GAME:Heather Leigh Cameron

LOOK: (I couldn't find a body ANYWHERE on imvu that fits her so just imagine her a little bigger)
https://prnt.sc/tw0pma
https://prnt.sc/tw0pvp

PERFORMANCE:
Tailian:Welcome to the snatch game where our celebrities will test their abilities to snatch me bald with their answers! now our first celeb-

*A howl is heard in the back ground*

Tailian: I- what is that? did a PA let a homeless crackhead use our facilities again!

HEATHER LEIGH CAMERON STORMS IN WITH HER INFAMOUS SURVIVOR HOWL:


Heather Leigh Cameron:


Tailian:Um...Heather you are not on survivor...

Heather:OH!!! WELL HELLO THERE! WHAT IS THIS ESTABLISHMENT.

Tailian:This is snatch game...

Heather:Well let me find my seat here.

*sits next to the other contestants and farts while sitting*

Tailian:Well the first celebrity needs no introduction it's Heather Leigh Cameron!

Heather:HELLO! IM HEATHER LEIGH CAMERON IM 32 YEARS OLD AND I'M FROM ALBERTA,CANADA AND I AM THE STORMIN MORMON



*Tailian looks confused*

Tailian:Ok.... Let's Begin Snatch game! Questio-

*Production assistant walks in front of HLC while the camera is on Tailian*

Heather:


Heather:STUPID PA! YOU SHOULD BE FIRED! YOU'RE PARENTS SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

Tailian whispers to PA:Don't worry security is escorting her off the premises once this is finished.

Tailian:OK! so let's play Snatch game!

Tailian:Question 1! Fatty McFatface is so fat that she isn’t eating her good snacks anymore, she’s now eating her [BLANK]

Tailian:HLC what did you answer!

Heather:Well I said she ate her MAJESTIC BROWNIE VOLCANO! Prepared by me on my fabulous cooking show, Cooking With Heather! MATTER OF FACT I BROUGHT SOME FOR YOU ALL TO TRY NOW!

*Heather pulls a aluminum tray from under the table with a knife with brownies and starts cutting*

Heather:


EAT UP!

Tailian:I-....no thank you heather!...Anyways!!

Tailian:Question 2! Kimora’s cheeks are a medical mystery. Last week she went to the surgeon and she said [BLANK] HLC what did you Answer?

Heather: I said I HAVE ENDOMETRIOSIS SO SHE DOESN'T HAVE AN EXCUSE!.

Tailan: Ok. we-

Heather:My aunt's sister's mother's brother's nephew's Goldfish also had LYME DISEASE SO SHE HAS NO EXCUSE TO BE GOING TO HER SURGEON.

Tailian:Heather can we please do this without having an outburst every 5 seconds please?

Tailian:anyways! question #3 Soju is so gay that when they opened her cyst, [BLANK] came out! Heather what is your answer! I'm just so thrilled to know! *sarcasm*

Heather:I said that AIDS JUICE CAME OUT! MAYBE IF THIS SOJU CHARACTER WASN'T OUT THERE HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX AND SAVING THEMSELVES FOR MARRIAGE THEY WOULDN'T HAVE THIS ISSUE

Tailian:Heather....Cysts have nothing to do with AIDS nor is there an AIDS juice and it's also a little problematic.

Heather:IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC THE GAYS LOVE  ME I AM A GAY ICON.

Tailian: Oh Jesus heaven sent OK! That's the game! Have a good da-

Heather starts to sing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dFN4yd-7Kc

TAILIAN:GET HER OFF STAGE AND ESCORT HER FROM THE PREMISES!!!!!!!!!!!

Runway:
https://prnt.sc/tvzs7r
https://prnt.sc/tvzsi1

Confession: so since there is a pandemic I have decided to go for a Victorian plague doctor for my runway look. it is gothic. it is vintage. it's high fashion and I am living for my gothic fantasy!

The makeup underneath the mask:
https://prnt.sc/tvzv0a

TALIAN: Hello hello hello everyone and welcome to the Emergency Snatch Game! That's right, due to the unfortunate pandemic, our celebrities are all quarantined at the emergency room! Are you ready to meet them?

*walks over to the table*

TALIAN: She's older than sliced bread, it's Betty White!


*Betty White snorts a bit before waking up*

BETTY: Huh? What's going on? *looks around*

TALIAN: Oh, Oh, over here dear! You're in the emergency room darling!

BETTY: Oh thank goodness! As a woman of a certain age one just feels happy to wake up in the hospital and not in Hell.

TALIAN: Hell? Why would you go to Hell?

*Betty's face gets serious and she stares at Talian*


BETTY: Rue McClanahan asked me that once. She's dead now.

TALIAN: *sweats nervously* So, um, here's how the game works! Yada yada yada rules and stuff blah blah blah. Are you ready for your first question?

BETTY: Ready as I'll ever be!

*Talian looks at the cards*

TALIAN: Okay Betty White you're up first! Your question is: Soju is so gay that when they opened her cyst, [BLANK] came out!

BETTY: Oh my darling, this one is no surprise. When Soju's cyst popped, Donut's Glaze came out cause trust me, ain't nothing gayer than that whore!

*Betty starts fanning herself*

TALIAN: You okay luv?

BETTY: Oh dear I do believe I'm having a hot flash. Do you mind if I take off my coat?

TALIAN: Sure, doll! We don't mind!

BETTY: Oh thank you so much darling! *takes off her coat*
https://m.imgur.com/a/sgh2nBs

TALIAN: 👁👄👁 Oh well, um, next question! We found a cure for a meaty tuck! Turns out you just need to ingest a [BLANK]. Betty White what's your answer?

BETTY: *shakily writes down her answer* Sorry, my arthritis is acting up.

TALIAN: Its okay take your time.

*Betty finishes writing and looks up*

BETTY: Well, my dear friend Melania had the same problem once. She said "Betty, HOW do I get rid of my meaty vagina?" And I'm gonna tell you the same thing that I told her!" *holds up the card* I said "All you have to do to cure a meaty tuck is ingest a fist up your bum!"

TALIAN: 👁👄👁 (×2)

BETTY: It. Works. Wonders. Fixed Mario's meaty tuck FOR LIFE.

PRODUCER: I don't think she can say that on TV. Quick, change the subject!

TALIAN: So, Betty, you're such a legend! An actress, an author, even a world-renowned chef -

BETTY: Honey I'm horrible at cooking. My muffin hasn't had a cherry since 1939. You're mixing me up with that old man stealing whore Martha Stewart Fuck that stupid bit-

TALIAN: Oh, uh, let's move on to the last question haha! Fatty McFatface is so fat that she isn’t eating her good snacks anymore, she’s now eating her [BLANK].

BETTY: Fatty McFatface is so fat that she's now eating her.... I don't give a rat's ass. I don't know why they book me on these chicken shit gigs. I'm a fucking oscar winner-

TALIAN: Betty I don't think that's your catchphrase-

BETTY: Well it is now, bitch. That old crone Cher owes me one for not riding that Sonny into the sunset. Mmmmhmmm whatta man. Whatta man.


TALIAN: 👁👄👁 (×3) .... well would you look at that this is all the time we have for today. I hope you had fun today Betty!

BETTY: I didn't. Now someone get me a damn drink.

TALIAN: Any last words before you leave?

BETTY: Yes. KISS MY ASS!! *twerks*

AH FUCK I THINK I DISLOCATED MY HIP FUCK FUCK PRESS THE LIFE ALERT SKAJAKQNQN

*the paramedics wheel her away*

RUNWAY:

https://m.imgur.com/a/tyYsdUx

For my runway this week I've taken inspiration from one of my favorite characters ever - Gogo Yubari from Kill Bill. This week I'm giving you cute petite girl who is also part of the mafia and is an insane bitch who is NOT afraid to fucking bash your head in.

Snatch game: Miranda Bailey

*Twinkies and the guests all run onto the stage looking very flustered, with many of the celebrity guests having their hair and makeup messed up. Twinkies looks back to the producers, questioning what show they are doing*
Twinkies - What is this emergency we have?
Producer 1 - We couldn’t think of a challenge so we had to do snatch game.

*Twinkies prepares herself looking at the guests in front of her*
Twinkies - Lets start! Good evening and welcome to the Emergency version of snatch game. This totally wasn’t a 5 minute planning! I am your host, the girl with the chunky thighs and the chunkier menses, Twinkies Chapelle. Tonight we have 10 guests ready to compete. Let’s please welcome our first guest from Grey’s anatomy, Private Practise and studio 19, chief of surgery, Miranda Bailey!!!

https://giphy.com/gifs/latelateshow-james-corden-hungover-3oKIPgIkBHQCeyORsk

*Miranda is asleep as the show starts, using the desk as a pillow. The loud voice of Twinkies wakes her up, looking around getting extremely furious*

Miranda: Is the patient dead? Huh speak up. Because if that patient isn’t dead by the time I get there, there will be trouble. Capeesh!
*Miranda looks around realising she’s not in the rest room of the hospital but at the snatch game. She fixes her scrubs looking at Twinkies*

Twinkies: Your at the snatch game Miranda. I am sorry for waking you up, but we have a show to do and your one of the stars

*Miranda’s face gets extremely annoyed at Twinkies*
Miranda: UH. b.b.b Just don’t! Your like my interns, I already hate you and will probably forever. So don’t suck up to me. And if anyone touches me, I am getting tetanus jabs for me.

Twinkies: Okay I guess we can sort that out!

*Miranda carries on to look annoyed at everyone around her as they fidget around. She looks to the person to her left*
Miranda: IF WE WAS IN SURGERY THEY WOULD BE DEAD. Now calm the heck down!

Twinkies: Let’s get straight to the first question, The pit crew is going crazy. To enhance their packages they are now putting blank in their blank!

*Miranda looks around confused at this*
Miranda: Seriously, they want to do that. Ask my Ben, he can help the pit crew allow their partners get the butterflies.
*Miranda shakes with butterflies thinking about the last time she did it*

Twinkies: So what is your answer then?

*Miranda comes out of her fantasy looking at Twinkies, forgetting that she wrote anything down*
Miranda: Don’t question me. I may not be a harper Avery award winner but I’ve fought with worst monsters than you
*Turns to the side camera*
Miranda: Cristina just waking up!
*Back to Twinkies*
Miranda: I said, they put silicon in their balls

*Twinkies looks extremely confused by this*
Twinkies: If you say so

Miranda: I don’t know, that’s nasty, the only thing sexual I talk about is my vajayjay

—

Twinkies: Now lets get onto the second question, Kimora Blac’s cheeks are a medical mystery, Last week she went to the surgeon and she said [BLANK] .

*Miranda hears this and starts thinking, tapping a pen on the table annoying all of the others around her especially Betty white. She looks at her in disgust*
Miranda: Turn your hearing aid down then! Ok talian I have an answer,
We have Kimora Blac, 31 year old drag queen who came in with exploded cheeks. After a CT scan we realising she had no brain and it was just filled with silicon and a hatred against bananas.

Twinkies: You did it again, Miranda. You actually need to answer my question.

Miranda: Dopey, I ain’t bothering to learn your name, I’m a surgeon, not a therapist. When she came to me I told her to sit down and she was like

https://giphy.com/gifs/what-shalita-grant-7KFcFwPvpEU3S

Twinkies: Makes sense!
*Miranda nods pouting her lips together*

https://giphy.com/gifs/thismightget-grace-helbig-graduation-fs68zky81pnFPcGFrb

—

Twinkies: Shall we move onto the final question, Soju is so gay that when they opened her cyst, [BLANK] came out!

*Twinkies looks down to Miranda but she is out of her chair*
Twinkies: Miranda please take a seat

*Suddenly, Miranda pops up from under the desk from Anne’s chair.*
Miranda: Looking at your vajayjay, it’s hard to look at. Like it’s a sore sight to look at. Now I just need you to breathe.

*Miranda takes out her stephoscope, before placing it against Anne’s chest, placing one finger up at Twinkies*

Twinkies: Miranda we don’t have a lot of time left

*Miranda looks at Twinkies, before tossing a shocking machine out from under the panel*
Miranda: Oh god really. I need a crash cart in here
*Miranda looks around before going to prepare Anne to shock her*
Miranda: Where is the crash team?
*She goes to place the pads onto Anne’s chest before Twinkies stops her*

Twinkies: I meant the show. Not Anne’s life. For god sake

*Miranda stops and gives evil eyes to Twinkies*
Miranda: Your just like Meredith. Trying to tell me what to do. I don’t see you helping children in nature, that’s Arizona’s job. But fine, I will answer this last question. I have a date with Ben so be quick.

*Twinkies waits for Miranda to right something down*

Miranda: You know what come out of her cyst. You really want to know. PUS. Soju is like a normal person, a drag queen does not have some rainbows and glitter come out. It’s pus. Now can I go. I have to go get pregnant with a baby and then probably miscarry again!

*Miranda walks off of the stage leaving the rest of the cast. She swings her stephoscope as she goes*

Look: https://i.imgur.com/syqVD1c.png

Snatch game:
PAULA DEEN
Paula: Hey y'all!! It's me Paula Deen! I'm here to show you kids few juicy foods!!

Talian: But Paula...this isn't a cooking show.

Paula: oh come on kid, I brough everything! Oil, heavy creem, a pot and most importanlty BUTTER!

Talian: But...Paula I-

Paula:


Listen...you let me cook here or i'll fry you.

Talian: *looks*  SO...the first question- Fatty McFatface is so fat that she isn’t eating her good snacks anymore, she’s now eating her [BLANK] .

Paula: Listen, let me tel y'all something about fat. They lie to you! Look at me! Under the layer of fake tan there's NO fat! That's why I do believe you you can't be FAT because of FAT. She eats anything what California's kids eat probably, so I'll say salad!

Talian: Salad? What kind of salad?

Paula: You know lettuce and emmm, what do you excatly put in those?

Talian: Vegetables?

Paula: Oh yes...these things. But I'll tell you something about vegetables and fruits. I'm from south so I'm a Christian. I believe in Jesus, who was white, BUT anyway, I'm a religious person!. You know why the snake gave an apple to Eve? BECAUSE IT WAS BAD FOR PEOPLE! Some will tell you that they are healthy, but I say eat butter!

Talian: I-

Paula: You seem like you're eating lots of salads *smiles* so I brought you my favourite, delicious fried fingers. Eat some!

Talian: No thank yo..

Paula: Eat.

Talian: Ok.

Paula: Do you like those?

Talian: They taste like butter

Paula: Beacuse it is friend butter! What did you expect kid haha

Talian: Well...let's move on, next question- We found a cure for a meaty tuck! Turns out you just need to ingest a [BLANK]

Paula: I don't excatly know what is "meaty tuck". It sounds like some type of meat. So a ture southern bell would chop it, season it and deep fry it!

Talian: You seem to like deep fried food a lot Paula!

Paula: Well of course... like you kids would say these days- A little bit of fat never killed nobodyyyy yoooo!

Talian: Who says that?

Paula: Oh I don't know darling. I just want to say that I love all the kids! White, yellow and ni*****, oh oops, hold on. *starts reading book "How to get away with murderer and racism"*...black!!! I love black people! So much that I give them food, give them love and give them a good sex with white lady!! I just love them!!! So please, LOVE ME AGAIN *starts crying*

Talian: Okeeeeey...Kimora’s cheeks are a medical mystery. Last week she went to the surgeon and she said [BLANK].

Paula: Kimora seems like a very exotic name! I don't know much about plastic surgery, but I think she said that she looks pretty! So honey, just call me, I'll give you an amazing job offer!

Talian: That's nice!

Paula: *whispers to Talian* but if you have her phone number then give it to me, you know, it's hard to get non-white maids these days, horrible times, gosh...

Talian: OKEEEEEEY! Clap for Paula Deen!!!

Paula: BUY MY BOOK Y'ALL!!!

Talian: Wasn't it...cancelled after you know...you were called racist?

Paula:


Talian: BYE! *runs away*

Annaleemna’s runway: https://imgur.com/a/X52KkfE

For this look I was going for Bond girl meets mortal kombat. She is ready to kill and ready to stay anonymous. Just call her, The look that kills

(The last photo is what the shoes are since they get cut off for some reason)

T: Up next we want to welcome pop princess and gay icon, Ariana Grande! Hey Ariana!



D: Oh hi Tali *sks sks* I’m so happy to be here! *teehee*

T: Now Ariana, I know you like to lick donuts but Ariana you’re literally a donut!

D: Oh Tali, I went to Willie Wonka’s chocolate factory for a charity concert, and I saw so many donuts! I then licked all of them and then I slowly became a donut! Then all these little Donald trump people carried me away and I’m now I’m here!

T: Well Ari, let’s hope you can hit the right notes!

A: Right notes! Like this: https://youtu.be/3mw7RJfPqwk

T: Thank you Ariana!

T: 1) The Pit Crew is going crazy! To enhance their package they’re now putting [BLANK] in their [BLANK] !

T: Ariana what did you write?

D: Oh Tali, I always like problematic boys because they have big dicks. And Malcolm always told me that to enhance what my friend Nicki would say “his anaconda” I wrote expired oxycodone in AussieBum briefs!

T: Oh my Ari!

D: *cries* I miss Malcolm, he was an angel. But on to the next white druggie!



2) Fatty McFatface is so fat that she isn’t eating her good snacks anymore, she’s now eating her [BLANK] .

D: Well Fatty needs to embrace her figure, but if she wants to eat but *skinny* like me, I’d suggest she’d her eyebrows!

T: oh why her eyebrows?

D: well, I saw my friend Heather and she has so much hair everywhere that she can just use that to make new eyebrows!

H: Now Ariana, child, you can’t make those personal attacks, you know how it makes me feel!

D: You’re even more delusional than Victoria Justice!

H: I don’t know who that is!

D: Exactly!

Victoria watching this on her 2010 pear laptop:

3) We found a cure for a meaty tuck! Turns out you just need to ingest a [BLANK] .

D: Oh if the tuck is meaty than the solution is ingesting dumbass redneck pill.

T: what does that do exactly?

D: oh a redneck only eats meat so the meat tuck will go away!

T: now Ari, do you eat meat?

D: Oh I eat all kind of meat! Big White druggie meat, small white druggie meat, black meat, I love all meat!

4) Kimora’s cheeks are a medical mystery. Last week she went to the surgeon and she said [BLANK] .

D: I would never do plastic surgery. But my gay brother Frankie has had some work because he looks like a Nickelodeon cartoon. And he said when some freak (like Kimora) would be filled with Cum!

T: How does that work!

D: Oh so the cum grows into babies and that is why their faces grow and look gross, just like a baby!

5) Soju is so gay that when they opened her cyst, [BLANK] came out!

D: When Soju opened her cyst, a bunch of fat fem Asians came out! Those are the people behind all my stan twitter accounts! *Teehee*

And for the gays, I only have 4 words, “yas qween work bitch”

T: Our next celebrity needs no introduction! She's the queen of clean, unless you get on her bad side, which'll make her become the queen of mean! It's Kim Woodburn!

K: Hello dearie!

T: How are you doing today Kim!?

K: Oh I've had a wonderful evening, I've had a wonderful night. I've had a wonderful evening. Ooh, it's been a fucking delight!

T: Well let's start out with our first question of the night, shall we? The Pit Crew is going crazy! To enhance their package they’re now putting [BLANK] in their [BLANK]!

T: Kim let's go to you!

K: Oh dearie, I'm still writing my answer down. When you get to be my age, you go a little slower.

HLC: Can we get this old bat out of here?! She's taking too long and I want this to be over so I can take a fresh bath and go to bed! I'm tired!

K: Now listen here. You want trouble?!

HLC: I don't want trouble!

K: You want to be punished?!

HLC: I don't want trouble!

K: You're causing all this! You horrible. Horrible. HORRIBLE girl! You two-faced bunch! Chicken-livered shit!

HLC: I am not!

K: Go away you adulterer!

HLC: I am a woman of Jesus Christ. I cannot be an adulterer! I'm saving myself for him.

K: Weird girl. You better stop.



HLC: ...

K: Anyways, ooh, well....Talian...Talian is it? Coincidentally, talking about adulterers, I've had to experience one on my season, Jamie. And I know he got the ladies by putting steroid injections in his genitals. I've had a couple boys myself, back in my good old days, do that to get with catches like me.



T: 👁️👄👁️

T: ...anyways...moving on to Ariana Grande. Your answer?

---

T: Okay ladies next question! Kimora’s cheeks are a medical mystery. Last week she went to the surgeon and she said [BLANK]! Kim let's go to you first this time!

K: Well, as you can tell, I've had zero work done before. I'm a natural beauty, but I believe Kimora would say "more!" It's quite tragic but ladies like to get more and more work done to please their husbands. Through all of my years of "How Clean Is Your House?" I've encountered multiple couples fighting and my favorite past-time is eavesdropping on their fights. It's quite fun!



K: But almost always the woman has more work done to keep her husband entertained. I do have some advice for this Kimora girl though.

T: Oh you do?

K: Yes I do! Kimora, dearie, stop what you're doing! If you do anymore work, you'll end up as botched as Nicole [Nicola] and Nicole is a chicken-livered buggard! Don't be like that little bitch.

T: Oh. I- Um- Oh my. Well.....what about you Paula Deen? How did you answer?

T: Okay our last question of the night! Soju is so gay that when they opened her cyst, [BLANK] came out! Let's start with Ariana!

---

T: Kim, I'm scared to ask, but what did you write down!?

K: Well...I'm not quite familar with "the gays" so I really don't know what the being "so gay" is, but I know a cyst can be absolutely horrible, so I hope nothing but the best for this Soju you speak of.

T: Oh she is fine! She's back home with her CYSTers! Ha!

K: Well, anyways, I wrote the gayest thing I could think of so I wrote that when they opened her cyst, Jedward came out! Wouldn't that be a sight to see?

T: Oh...why I guess it would!

K: Oh I love those boys! They're so true to themselves. They're a little much at times, but they are not fake whatsoever unlike the rest of these chicken-livered shits on this stage with me right here! They're all cowards! You are such a bunch of cowards!

Everyone: ...

HLC: I am not a coward! I am a Stormin' Latter-Day Saint!



HLC: I will start! You are attacking my name and I can't stand for it!



HLC: Hmph.

T: Ladies! Ladies! Take it to the back! Anyways, that's all the time we have! Which means the winner is.....Merle Ginsberg! See you next time! Bye!

K: Good riddance.

Look: https://imgur.com/gallery/axQyQeT