Hi, Pussy O'Plenty here to tell you about the makeup sensation that's sweeping the nation: Lipsdick, from Vaffanculo Cosmetics by Talianâ„¢!
I'm legally obligated to share some of the UNIQUE features of this product. AHEM
1. It's sticky like a movie theater floor
2. After application, it has no pigment at all
3. It smells like actual cock
4. It's more toxic than Tayvie's social circle
Now, after hearing these things you may be tempted to ask: "Is Lipsdick just semen that's been turned into a lipstick somehow?"
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Okay, so yes, it is semen. BUT THAT'S WHAT GIVES LIPSDICK IT'S SPECIAL PROPERTIES:
1. The stickiness provides a UNIQUE SENSATION that yo man will NOT soon forget!
2. It has no pigment because the natural look is all the rage these days, and Lipsdick adds shininess and depth without sacrificing the beautiful DSL's that your mama gave you!
3. Let's not beat around the bush. If you want a man to beat around your bush, you have to advertize your skills! If your lips smell like you've been working the graveyard shift at a truckstop glory hole, men WILL take notice. Whether you're a sheltered virgin or a worldclass dicksmoker, Lipsdick will tell your potential sugardaddies everything about your bed/bathroom abilities!
4. Don't listen to those libtard snowflakes! Toxicity can be a good thing! Sure, Lipsdick will cause your lips to balloon to 10x their original size before falling off, but look on the bright side: You'll never have to worry about buying lipstick ever again. Like death row inmates have a last meal, make Lipsdick your last lipstick!
Talian has brought a gift into this world, like the Virgin Mary, but she's not a virgin and Lipsdick is actually useful. It is the ONLY makeup product that you will EVER NEED!
*This has been a paid advertizement for Vaffanculo Cosmetics by Talianâ„¢*