[Serving with Slasha- Slasha Sass]
*to Killa and Gaga, big hugs and air kisses*
Hallo, hallo, welcome and Gored Mourning to Serving with Slasha! Today, we are going to me making Sassy Saucisson with our lovely guest here, Lady Gaga!
Before we get things rolling, we need to ensure the meat remains tender and juicy, which means no screaming or fear, Lady! Here, have some of this…
*Injects Gaga with a local anaesthetic*
Now then, we all know how breakfast is never complete without a nice, thick, meaty sausage, and with all this good meat we’ve got here I’m going to have to start by taking some of the best cuts.
*Sharpens blades and Killa leads Gaga to the chopping block, lays her down and cuffs her hands and feet*
For a sausage, traditionally, we can use any part of the beast, however I think it would be offal-ly nutritious to use a combination of the fattier parts, such as the buttocks, breasts and inner thighs…..
*runs blades and removes skin from flesh and places in a mincer*
We are going to grind all our meat together so we get a fine consistency, and then we can get our fingers nice and dirty with the flavourings! Ok, so we have all this meat here, now we are going to start using some of the richer organs, which should bring a pungent, iconic flavour to our porky whites!
*slices open bowel and removes large intestine, also placing it in blender, with one kidney and a lung*
Now for those who are watching their figures, you don’t want to take too many of the fatty organs, so for this mix I’m only going to use one kidney and lung, but if you are making a large batch, or simply don’t care about your ability to outrun the other Purge contestants whilst trying to stay alive, then I suggest going the whole hog-body and using both lungs and kidneys for an even richer inner texture and flavour.
Killa, if you would be so kind as to use them butch man arms to crank the mincer….I know you aren’t a stranger to a good mince…..
*Takes all the mince and places it in a bowl*
Now then, all we are going to throw into this meat is some salt…
A pinch of mixed spices…..
A light dash of rum to ensure the meat stays nice and loose….
https://media.giphy.com/media/t6gdibbhqeVnW/giphy.gif And finally, some Mary Jane, for that CBD (Cock and Ball destruction!)...
https://media.giphy.com/media/uzwvlVMEyU5JC/giphy.gif Now all we have left to do is push the meat into our casing, which we have pre-prepared here in our specialised machine…
*Pulls out a make-shift sausage filling machine, which is in fact a fleshlight with a plunger attached to push through the meat into a pre-attached condom*
Now Killa, I’m going to regrind over here, you take a hold of that skin and keep it straight and firm while I slide the meat through, got it?
*First sausage is made*
Now if you just tie it at the end there, yep that’s it, and here we are, our first Sassy Saucisson!
A mix like this can make up to 12 sausages, or 6 big ones, because who doesn’t like a big one? Aaaaanddd…..
*walks over to wall oven, opens, takes out a tiny, shrivelled, pre-cooked sausage*
Here’s one I made earlier. It may be a little fishy (and not in the best of ways), and a little sour, but what else would you expect from a sausage made entirely of Gia Gunn’s remaining human parts?
Killa: Wonderful, now we're going over to our neighbourhood freak of fashion, LaNoose, to show us how to turn your leftover Gaga's to ga-garments...ha, I slay me.
