Talian : Everyone, please welcome our BBC, the queen with the biggest blackest cake, Fatty McFatFace With The Good Snacks!
*generic Christmas stock music plays*
Complete Look :
https://m.imgur.com/TtZMuoS Talian: Really? The Krampus outfit? Again?
Fatty : hey, listen, Krampus is the new gay icon and I’m here to make it clear
Talian : well we still love you baby, that’s why we brought you here.
Fatty : Money brought me here Talian.
Talian : speaking of you being poor, if you would win the 100,000, what would you waste that on?
Fatty : I would stop the sex slave trade rings that grow in the US and punch a nazi in the process...
*silence*
........ and, world peace.
*crowd cheers*
Talian : Well isn’t that lovely. A queen for our future! But before we look to the future, let’s take a glimpse into the past..
What would you say to little fatty?
Fatty : Dear child, you’re going to turn into something that gets shamed, that takes a lot of courage, and you may not even like sometimes. But you’ll be so good at it. You’ll have all the boys drooling, and all the girls jealous of your natural charm. You’ll have so much power, and when it’s your first time, it’ll hurt but then it’ll feel ama-
*Talian interrupts* What are you talking about?
Fatty : Being a bottom.
*Talian giggles*
This ass ain’t for show Talian, it’s 19 inches in diameter and fully functional!
Talian : well hurray for you, my darling. Now let’s talk about the new year!
It’s a busy world out there, and a whole year to reign as the next drag superstar. What is your wish for the future of our colorful community and how do you think we could accomplish it?
Fatty : The future is fat, Talian. Skinny queens once ruled the world but when has a big girl stomped the earth? I’m black, I’m fat, and I’m nothing like any of these other queens. Black queer youth need someone to look up to, fat queer youth need someone to tell them their bodies are ok. Their bodies are valid. I love my body, and if I can love this body, our community can love their bodies too. At the end of this competition, Wowpresents will be working with me and few of my sisters and we’ll be filming the new show, “Phat Thighs For The Gay Guys: A guide to your bodacious temple”. We will be dragging up the members of the fat LGBT community and enriching their lives from biggest loser contestants to butch lesbian biker ladies. We will abolish fat shaming one fupa at a time.
Talian : You got it gal, get that exposure! But here, take these glasses and expose your fellow mentors. The LIBRARY IS OPEN!
Fatty : Holden, you have more dick in your personality than you do in your pants
Little Blue, you remind me of Rapunzel, instead of letting your hair down, you let everyone down in your entire life
Nicky, such a shame your mother didn’t swallow you.
Same Shady T Bagg, you got a big mouth for someone whose runways look like.... that.
LaOddity, words cannot describe your beauty! But numbers can.
2/10
Talian! You’re a pizza!
Talian: A what?
Fatty: A pizza shit
Talian: 3rd place looks lovely on you
Fatty: :o