*the queens enter the werkroom and find the big pink furry box with the elimination lipsticks in them*
Donut : 3 lipsticks
Amanduhh : 9 lipsticks
*they give explanations on their choice and compliment Holli on her win*
Hello hello hello! And welcome back to the werkroom. Girls… the competition is on… isn’t it? Let’s just ask Amanduhh. Oh no, we can’t.
Either way. Today we’ve flown to…
🇰🇷 SOUTH KOREA!
A place of innovation, technology and building personality. And this week’s maxi challenge is all about that!
📱 For this week’s maxi challenge I want you to create and present an ad for a technology item (might it be physical or an app) that’s bound to completely change our lives. Simple no? Remember. This is a comedy challenge so focus more on being funny than practical. This doesn’t have to be realistic.
Later on the runway category is : 🤖 THE FUTURE OF DRAG! What does drag have in store for us 500 years from now? That’s the answer I want from you today.
As usual. You have 48 hours.
And now let’s go meet your lipsync assassin of the week.
“When it come to Talian’s Drag Race I am like a ninja : you will never see me there”
Who might it be?
The winner of this challenge will meet everything we are looking for and never knew we needed. Answering this week’s lipsync question :
I believe that in the future drag queens will be born from a cocoon that will deliver them wearing a sickening gown and that is exactly what im showing. Tamar Indo 500 years from now being born into the world of drag.
Do you have horrible teeth? Are they as stained Jeffree Star's past? BUT DON'T WORRY, as long as they're white everything can be forgiven!
I'm here to present to you our new invention!
Hyper Velocity Prophylaxis Unparagoned Sesquipedalian Perspicacious Teeth Cleaner.
In short - HVPUSPTC!
At first we built a very high-tech device with Elon's fundings. He told us to use high advanced physics, something about Black holes. Well...nobody understood shit he said, so we just put a drilling hammer on a stick. However our test subjects *caugh* poor people* *caught* were really unhappy with our project.
Then we thought "huh, it cannot be our device that is the problem"...so we basically continued to the point where Korea got inspired by this and made some random tv series about it and made millions...cant relate.
People would say that we're horrible for this...but we also lost money because of them y'know? We're also victims in this situation.
We decided to hire the most powerful person on this planet - Tobin Bell. On his resume he only put "saw", which really inspired us. But yeah...let's just say legally we cannot speak about this experiment. It's kinda like How to Get Away with Murder, but we ain't hot lawyers so there was not happy ending.
We ended up investing a lot of mone in brooms and guess what - THEY WERE SO GOOD AT CLEANING UP DIRTY DEAD BODIES. And you know what you have on your teeth? DIRT.
CF: "Picture it: 2521. Humanity still exists (somehow), and drag is the premiere form of artistic expression. Well, thanks to the wonders of future technology, you can augment your body in any way you want. So this entire look is made of skin. Touch ALL of it. Also, Trixie-style makeup dominates the drag scene."
I wanted to bring future Mars expeditions, extraterrestrial beings and bright colors to this runway. I also see a trend of metal and more unconventional materials being a commons theme as well as neon tubing. I love to know about what the future of drag holds, whether it’s in space or not!
Hi, I'm Margaret Catcher, sales lady from the FUTURE!
Jean: And I'm Jean, third runner-up in the 1983 Miss Blue Ball, Pennsylvania Pageant.
I come from 500 years in the future, and me and this washed-up white lady I found are going to offer you a taste of the future!
Margaret: Yes indeed! Allow me to introduce you to the Future Universal Kindhearted/Unpleasant Digital Amusement Device (FUKUDAD)!
Jean: *says wow like Owen Wilson*
Margaret: The FUKUDAD is a virtual reality system that allows you to experience some of the most significant events to come in the next 5 centuries! Sight, smell, sound, and taste, all the senses are covered by FUKUDAD's cutting edge technology! It's super easy to use as well. Allow me to demonstrate on June here. You put the goggles over the eyes...then put the earmufffs (over the ears)...then shove these two sensors up your nostrils...now open up for the taste dispenser (deliciously thick!)...now, look how comfortable you are, Jen!
Jean: *Makes sounds like she's grapefruiting her man*
Margaret: Hmmm...maybe remove the taste dispenser for now.
*Yanks the dispenser out of Jean's mouth. Jean projectile vomits for a solid two minutes*
Margaret: ...Are you done yet? We're in the middle of a commercial! Whatever. SEGUE! You know Joan, a great man by the name of Holden Richards asked Santa Claus to build a wall around Venice. Well, sometimes Christmas dreams come true! 4 walls were built around the city, and then they added a massive ceiling, just to make sure the water would never threaten the citizens ever again. Wanna see what it looks like?
*Jean puts on the headset*
Jean: I can't see anything. Why's it so dark?
Margaret: That's what happens when you build a whole-ass building around a city! It's darker than Taylor Swift III's ill-fated plans for world conquest.
Jean: I'm sorry, what?!
Margaret: You'll understand in a few years. Or not. You're getting OLD, John! Best warn your grandkids of the horrors to come!
Jean: ...Can I be brainwashed after we're done filming this?
Margaret: Nope! Now, do you want to experience New Zealand after it switched places with Japan?
Jean: Wait, what, how did that happen?!
Margaret: Global warming did some crazy shit, yo! Shoulda gotten it under control, Boomer! Now, put on the headset!
Jean: What's so special about this? All I see is sheep.
Margaret: Exactly! Some things never change. Major downside, though, is that now New Zealand has to worry about being nuked by West Korea.
Jean: Uh, don't you mean NORTH Korea?
Margaret: Again, global warming! Ya fucked up the plate tectonics with your SUV, Judy!
Believe it or not, the experiences I've shown you are just a fraction of what the FUKUDAD has to offer! Here are some more:
*Yellow Text Scrolls Across the Screen*
The Resurrection and Second Assassination of John F. Kennedy
The Inauguration of President Mattel
Poland Getting its Shit Together
The Naked Mole Rat Uprising
The Great Karen Purge of 2173
World War 4
Poland Losing its Shit. Again.
...And so many more!
For the low LOW price of 1500 Galactic Credits, the FUKUDAD can be YOURS!
Jean: But that currency doesn't exist yet!
We also accept Bitcoin. And used celebrity condoms. Cloning is all the rage, you know!
The concept of my look is that the world would be burned down by the time we get to “the future of drag.” My makeup is of a burned donut, the top half of my garnet is burned tree bark and my bottom is flames of a raging fire.
Hello, it’s Drag star and tasty pastry Donut Glaze. Donut you hate it when you get a text from someone and you don’t know what to say? Or do you suck harder than Michelle Visage in the bedroom when it comes to texting your crush?
Introducing Text4U, an app that will generate the best reply to your texts! This app will see your text message and will generate a response for you!
Tiny Tim got a message from Big Billy saying how he wants to fuck her brains out. Tiny Tim isn’t up for sex but doesn’t know what to say. It’s time for Text4U!
Big Billy: Can I fuck your brains out?
Tiny Tim: No I ate Taco Bell.
It’s that simple.
Text4U comes with many free options to maximize your responses!
And much more!
For an extra $4.20 you can unlock Stoner mode. Do you like to smoke more weed than Laganja? No worries, Text4U will text as if you’re not stoned!
And for another 8 cents you can have Drunk Mode! It’ll text your friends and family while you’re drunk. No more embarrassing pics sent to your grandmother!
Narrator: Picture it… You’re sitting home alone on a lonely Saturday night...alone...lonely....with no o-
Holli: OK, OK. I get it. No need to rub it in, bitch
Narrator: ANYWAY……...You’re alone on a Saturday night. Eating your lonely pizza from that shitty Italian place up the street. You decide to check Grindr to see if you can get a man for the night, but no one is close by and those who are, can’t drive. What is lonely, lonely, LONELY..
Holli: Will you get to the damn point already! The pizza is getting cold over here.
Narrator: UUUGGGHHHH. Fine. C*nt
Holli (Looks around): Did someone say my name. Can’t Imagine who.
Narrator: Well, now you can! Introducing the revolutionary new companion app to Grindr and DoorDash, GrindDash
Holli: That sounds stupid as hell
Narrator: Just go crawl in your hole, bitch.
*Holli hisses at the Narrator and flees behind the couch*
Narrator: That bitch is crazy… Anywho...where was I...ah, yes, GrindDash. This new app combines the quick and easy ordering scheme of DoorDash, with the Hot Mensessseseses that you can sometimes find in the Dark recesses of Grindr. Just a few quick few clicks, a delivery fee, and 3 payments of your integrity, and you’ve got yourself one less lonely queen for the night.
*Holli peaks from behind the couch*: Was that a Justin Bieber reference?
Narrator (Coldly): I have no idea who you’re talking about…(back to the narrator voice). The GrindDash app also comes in with a built in “Mens and Meals” option. A “Dick and Dinner” option, if you will.
Holli (now back on the couch): Oh, believe me, henny. I will.
Narrator: That’s the spirit, you fat whore
(Insert Random 90s canned laugh track)
The GrindDash app. When the chips are down, the asses are up
Disclaimer: GrindDash is in no way responsible for any burns, food poisoning, or the quality of the dick. We are simply the vehicle to get you a man. All Men on our app are on a strict NSA contract. Don’t think you gettin a real man out of this. All complaints can be taken up with our “Bitch, you ungrateful” department. Know your status, rrriiiigggghhhhhttttt.
The Future of Drag is intertwined with the future of humanity. As the world marches forward towards more socio-economic inequality, dystopia is guaranteed. I expect the world to end up being divided to 2 worlds, the super poor living by themselves on a scorched earth, and the rich people living in their own small pretty man-made paradise. Therefore, for this week's runway, my look inspired by the Hunger Games, and specifically by Panem's "Capitol", where the rich, colorful, and powerful reside. They serve fashion, they serve technology, and they serve pure terror - and on this runway, so do I.
Advertisement: THE GAYDAR APP / App tagline: You're only as gay as your playlist /
I made it in video form, enjoy xx [First 15 seconds is an intro I put in so you can have time to adjust volume and video quality. The actual ad starts at 00:15]
I took inspiration from my good friend La Cucaracha.
After all...cockroaches will inherit the world after we have fucked it up so it makes only sense that future drag queens will be a human / cockroach hybrid.
I spent a lot of time adding my jewelled cockroach friends all over my outfit and including lots of little embellishments. I hope the judges can see the effort I have put in here.
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