Previously in this competition, i alluded to the 3 fundamentals that guide me through my life: my conscience, my pussy... and Jesus. And so it seems only fitting to end this competition with 3 songs that perfectly encompass this trifecta.

Fundamental 1: Conscience



Explanation: Lyrics such as, "wherever you go I'm going with you babe" and "you fill my head with madness, good and bad" illustrate key aspects of my conscience: i.e., the fact that i am stuck with it for life, and how it drives me mad sometimes. A successful woman needs to call upon her conscience in her everyday life to keep her grounded and ensure that she makes balanced and thoughtful decisions. This speaks volumes to me as a person, as i rely on my conscience wholeheartedly during my day-to-day shenanigans, which include stamp collecting and being a filthy stank-cunt whore at the local bar.

Fundamental 2: My Pussy



Explanation: As previously mentioned, being a whore is a key tenet of my inner soul. I enjoy black dick, white dick, chode dick and dick cheney. Some may frown upon this life decision; however, the Lord said thou shall not pass judgement and so... stop fucking judging me? So what if i like to get a little bit wild on the weekends? This song perfectly embodies the state of my vagina on a Friday and Saturday night.

Fundamental 3: Jesus



Explanation: You may have realised in my above explanation that i capitalised the "L" in "Lord." This was no accident. I take my religion very seriously. As a woman of God, i cherish faith and Bible study and use the teachings of our heavenly Father as my moral compass throughout life, when i am not being a filthy stank-cunt whore. This facet of my personality isn't well known to some, but i believe it is crucial to find a balance between religious devotion and STD-surfing. It's me. I am that balance.

On a real note, i think these 3 songs exemplify my music taste which is... i don't have one. I can rave to electronic/house, vibe to rap and fuck with country pop. Anyone that boxes themself in to one particular music genre, in my opinion, isn't fully gaining the joy that music has to offer.

I would like to finish by saying thank you to Alfie, Zach and Braden for being terrific hosts. This has been super fun! I've never really done anything like this in all my time on Tengaged, so thank you for being so professional and keeping this fresh and exciting! To my fellow competitors, Sag and Ahea, best of luck gals <3

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fPQeMqiKqKs

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eT70RUV_9rw

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kaLYpDMaDh8

Iscariot | WALK THE MOON
Unfucktheworld | Angel Olsen
Blood I Bled | The Vassar Devils

The theme of my story is grief and loss, especially of a sibling. I lost my brother suddenly a little over 2 years ago, and each of these songs resonated with me, though for totally different reasons. “Iscariot” represents the initial shock, then later anger and self-hatred I experienced. The song begins quiet and gloomy, then builds to my rage: as I cry out to “my friend, my friend... my brother,” I berate myself that I “had it coming.” Then, as “Unfucktheworld” begins, I transition into loneliness, which I think is pretty evident. The song is quite minimalistic, the vocals are kind of muted, and “I am the only one now” is repeated over and over. And as “Blood I Bled” starts, some of that pain is still there. I still feel my brother’s “feet that fall (right behind),” and still feel “suffering.” However, around halfway through the song, the primary singer finds community, like I have myself. After being confronted with “the damage of churlish rage,” the lead vocalist moans in agony alone, before being joined in her expression of pain and sorrow by the community around her. Even as the song reaches its end, she has still lost her roots, and her leaves are still dead, but she is able to express her pain with gained strength (volume) and support (harmonies). I still feel hurt and grief for my brother, but I’ve learned to express these feelings more healthily and, in a way, beautifully. Technically, none of these songs were written to be about grief, but whenever I hear and interpret them, I’m reminded of my own grief and story.

      I Don't Wanna- They Ivy

      whoami- Prince of Eden

       Stories-Refs

This story revolves around a breakup and all of the up's and down's to it:

I don't Wanna by the Ivy represents the breakup itself. You never really understand how a person is feeling until they tell you straight to your face. The one person believes that this relationship may be going really well, but the other partner realizes that it just is not working out. They realized that the other person wants so much more out of the relationship and the relationship ends by saying that "I don't wanna be yours". He said that summer lovin does not last and he just wants to be free. This song is the epitome of like hey it's not you, it is me. The person who just has been dumped would then move into the song whoami by Prince of Eden. This song is pure emotion and pure sadness. They are racking their brain wondering who was at fault in this relationship. They just poured their heart and soul out to this person, just for them to be broken in return. The singers said that they wish they could make their system clear. Any person who has just been dumped wishes they could forget all about this person and become whole again. However, this person has really lost a large part of themselves. The song said sorry for all of the pain in loving, which shows the person is blaming themselves for loving too hard, when in reality they did nothing wrong.

Now, fast forward, this person has really been working on themselves. Emotionally they are better, and all of a sudden, their ex hits them with the I miss you text. Stories by refs is that song where the broken hearted can realize they are good enough without you. The lyrics reflect on how someone begins to remember all of the horrible things someone has said to them in the past. They could tell their ex that they made them feel worthless (Lyrics say: I could've said you make me feel like i am worthless). however, they have grown, and do not need to say anything like that. Instead you can say that you both have done things wrong, and there has been forgiveness,  but I am moving on. there are 2 sides to every story, and this person can choose to move on, while the ex is choosing to get back together. Instead of trying again and going through all of the horrible things again, the person dumped chooses to go their own way.

Hi- so that is my essay! The story is muddy sometimes, but that is life. Music has the ability to really piece together a story even though it comes from unexpected places. Thanks for the chance to play y'all! It was a lot of fun

The suspense.... it’s killing me

Still killing me