While Pooh is inactive, I shall reenact what I had to do to land this gig

*straps dummy to a bed with POOH written across it*

You've been a bad boi?

*smack!!!*

As sad as I am to see you go, Jayson, you’re giving a GREAT interview right now!!! Lots of tea has just been spilled.

Also, with that Catherine de Medici reference, it shocks me that you DIDNT win the first BOC.

Now that you’re done dragging, though, DO you think that any of these players that you just mentioned are set to win the game, or do you see it being someone else? Is your money on a vet?

(Damn, I’ve been called out too.)

My money is on nobody mister. I've played your game enough to know that ANYBODY could get played at ANY moment and the whole system come crumbling down.

Betting one way or another on this cast would just be too big of a gamble. If I had to guess though, X will stay the polls and get 1 other loyal follower to the end unless he gets taken out in a house vote. Just my opinion but he does seem like the best poll threat here so I'll lay a "gets halfway" bet on him.

Also bitch who said I was done? I can drag all day boi!!!

(Me when X is exactly like me)

(in the audience)
*CHEERS LOUD FOR JAYSON AND ALL THE TEA HE SPILT*

*bows to the VL*

I DO IT FOR YOU GUYS WITHOUT YOU MY LIFE HAS NO MEANING HUGS AND KISSES

Wise, wise words. I, too, have learned not to predict anything.

And do you wish to keep dragging? Is there anything else you’d like to spill tea on?

I DID have one question regarding showmances— in your season, it got so XXX that mods had to interfere. Do you think we’ll see any action in the house this season?

Hmmmmm Just that there are liars in places people aren't looking yet. I got secondhand information more often than I got first person accounts. Some people are focusing on the big targets while their Allies spilled every move to someone else. There are MOLES in this cast, and they are already showing themselves week 1. I predict that many alliances will be destroyed just in the nest few days, and it will be GLORIOUS!!!!

Also I honestly don't think so. We had a lot of chemistry between our last two casts. This one seems way too.... underage? Tame? Idk... They are not as much fun that's for sure. *fondly remembers the X Honey Jayson three-way*

We will now continue our regularly scheduled programming: As the sex swing creaks

Featuring: Jae (PoohSnap) as Himself

Also Starring: Jayson (MudkipzFTW) as Master

MOLES! In Big Brother? I’m shocked!

It does seem like this cast is less “close”, I agree. And I think some of that might be because this is a true mix of lots of people who haven’t played together, which hasn’t happened in any other vet season.

Finally, to get to the final couple questions: do you have any final thoughts? You’ve been an amazing housemate every season you’ve been on, Jayson, and I truly hope this isn’t the last we see of you, but if it is, how has this season measured up to seasons past?

*creak* *smack!* *ow* *creak* *smack!* *ow*

Oh commercial break.

I honestly loved this season just as well as the last few. I enjoy the experience of playing BBUK on this group because SO MANY PEOPLE ACTUALLY TRY!!! Most group games there are a few who try and many who don't care, this Group is DIFFERENT.

As far as ranking, I'd still love to play that first season again. Plenty of stress but plenty of fun (even if Cuntney and Douchelle are there) #GenderFakers I made good friends and lifelong enemies, and I'll probably never be that close to winning again 😂😂😂

Thank you for being the AMAZING host you are. Good luck with this cast 😂😂😂 They crazier than usual...

Also thank you for always making me feel SO GOOD about my exits lol You honestly make me feel like a winner Everytime. Thank you!

I do TRY to cast people that’ll play hard :) glad you’ve had a good time! And you’ve definitely been an amazing housemate each season, so the praise is well earned!

Hope to see you in the future! Thanks again!

Let’s hear it for Jayson!

*crowd cheers*

*waves BAI BAIIIIIIIII*

*flips off house door as I exit the stage*