AssassinNo they will not return this site is not smart enough to handle the truth that the Onion News Network has proven time and time again.
Bro, seriously. You weren't the first OnionNews, you can't just make a multi based on someone elses clever idea, and hope that you'll become popular or something, it's not working. Just be yourself, the onion news character isn't funny, or scandalous, they're legitimately annoying.