Well my life has turned upside down these past few weeks. I've been contemplating on who I am as an individual. I've come to terms that I am in fact a trans woman. My family is completely against it. In fact they are so against it they want to "seek help" for me to be "fixed" I've been struggling with drinking the pain away and it's helped until I showed up drunk at school and now I'm having multiple meetings with school counselors. I've told my mom about everything about a few days ago and she hasn't spoke to me since. My dad won't look me in the eyes anymore. I only have my sister's because my brothers have turned on me as well. I've been in a very dark depression and all I want to do is drink until I can't wake up. I guess the reason I'm making this public on here is because I've grown close to some amazing people on this site. The only person I've told is Jameslu and they are incredible and full of love & support. Tysm for being there for me. But also. Idk how long I can keep breathing because every breath I take hurts more and more. I just want to crawl under a rock and never come back up. I've lost interest in so many things including school and even being on this site. I feel stuck. My only best friend irl has somewhat abandoned me these past few days and I just feel alone and need to vent. I didn't make this blog for ppl to feel sorry for me I just know I've been somewhat distant to some ppl on here and this is why. It's very hard to admit when you're in any type of emotional pain π but writing this out and knowing someone might be listening to me is a bit comforting. It just sucks that when I've truly found myself that's when I feel completely lost and alone.
Thanks for listening y'all.