I Have A Dilemma
May 31, 2018
- I have this friend I really care about; she's my best friend in a way, but I am conflicted about our friendship. When met her she was 22 and I was 25, we became really good friends, always had each other's backs at the bar (not fighting wise, but always made sure we got home safe) and it wasn't a hook up sorta thing. I had feelings for another girl... Etc...
Anyways I have had a lot happen to me over the last couple of years and so has she. We never really fell apart, but you can always tell when you're going in different directions.
She was involved in a bad accident, she was fucked up and driving, and lost her license. So I've been giving her rides to work. And it was fine because she gave me 10 bucks for gas once. So I had no problem.
She hasn't asked me for a ride lately, but she's been trying ro help me get a job working with her (I quit my job last month because I'm moving down south) and I thought her intentions were in the right place.
She called me yesterday asking if she could buy my adderall. And I told her no, I was on my last one anyway. And she said she was fine. She asked me for a ride tonight (and I'll remind you I went from $2000 a paycheck to nothing) and i thought that was fine. I asked her if I could borrow $10 for gas. She then told me I owed her $10 for when she borrowed it to me for giving her a ride to work. I told her that I had to go to food shelf to get a $10 gas card and she tried arguing with me to get that job and to quit taking trips... But I'm not just taking tripa, I'm trying to get my shit together, becauae there's a school where I'm moving that's actually interested in me.
She told me she had been taking xan for 4 days and when I told her I didn't like her on that she told me she took it 2 days ago.
My dilemma is. I can't talk her into doing anything, she enjoys being that young, wild, free soul. (and I'm no prude myself when it comes to shit) but I'm worried about her, I'm worried that if I keep interacting with her it's going to completely ruin our friendship, and I'm worried that if I quit talking to her that will ruin it as well.
I don't know if part of it is she's acting out against me because I'm leaving, or if she's just that selfish. I have to leave for me, and it pains me that I have friends who don't want me to go after my dreams. I'm 27 years old I don't have much time to play around anymore, because I want a family and I want to live long enough to see them graduate and to achieve my childhood dream of being the best grandpa since my dad and my gpa. So I'm conflicted.
If you read this thank you it was long, if not I just need it for my own archive.
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