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The sprtsgy1989's blog

Posts 16588 posts

rookies Dec 7, 2009
got hoh twice so far if i get it one more time im safe day 7 and that be most hoh i got in 1 game :) wats the most hoh every1 has had in a game
Points: 0 1 comments
10 ways 2 explain sex to ur kids Dec 7, 2009
1)HOCKEY--Tell your child that Daddy is a hockey player and that Mommy is the goalie and that sex is trying to score. The problem is that Daddy thinks he is Wayne Gretzky when he really is a blind immigrant skater who couldn't find the net if he tried and is ALWAYS hitting the post instead of finding the perfect spot of the net to shoot for. Of course, Daddy feels that Mommy is Dominic Hasek and is consistenly pitching shutouts.
2) BARBIE AND KEN--If Barbie doesn't take Ken to the rack every once in a while, she wouldn't get the Dream House, the Dream Corvette and she'd be stuck with that slut Skipper all the time.
3) GARDEN--Sex is like growing a garden. The soil has to be fertile and the seed has to be planted at just the right time. That doesn't explain why Daddy has to CONTINOUSLY PRACTICE PLOWING TECHNIQUES WITH THE BABYSITTER!!!
4) BANK--Sex is where Daddy goes to the bank of love to make a special deposit and finds that Mommy either has the NEXT TELLER PLEASE WINDOW UP or IS SERVICING EVERY ACCOUNT IN TOWN!!
5) OLD TV REFERENCE--Sex is like The Addams Family... Everyone is trying to bury Uncle Fester.
6)KIDS TV REFERENCE-- Sex is what Barney does when the camera is turned off and he's had such a great need to love everyone that he and BabyBop tear up the set.
7)ALCOHOL--Sex is where Mommy's vat is fermented until all of the ingredients are mixed in and Daddy becomes the BREWMASTER.
8)RELIGIOUS--Sex is donating to the missionary.
9)BASEBALL--Sex is where Daddy swings a big stick in hopes of getting a home run but he swings too early, pops up instead of going deep and is usually replaced by a battery propelled pinch hitter.
10) COOKING--Sex is where Daddy puts his hogleg in Mommy's kitchen, hoping that it'll go well with her eggs and she's not serving the entire town breakfast.
Points: 20 1 comments
im poor Dec 7, 2009
i have under 1 t  had 2 join a castings :( hopefully my bets and placemnt and rookies and castings goes well :/
Points: 9 3 comments
9 signs ur net relationship is over Dec 7, 2009
1) All of a sudden, she's typing in a different font.
2) During cybersex, she "accidentally" screams out Bill Gate's name.
3) Instead of hearing that lovely "You've Got Mail" statement when you use America OnLine, you hear "You Just Got Dumped!"
4) Your connection to his server is constantly refused.
5) You get a Dear John E-mai...Your name is Fred.
6) They no longer have access to a computer due to a recent parole.
7) She starts ending each sentence with only 1 exclamation mark instead of the usual 3!!!
8) She tells you that she's been working a lot. You think its a professional job; it turns out that she was responsible for the decorations at her Jr High prom!!
9) During an intimate moment in a chat room, she reveals herself to be GRANDMA!!
Points: 7 3 comments
10 things not 2 say to security when u steal coins from mall fountain Dec 7, 2009
1) "Isn't there a robbery at the Orange Julius you should be investigating?"
2) "I'm searching for a hard to find 1998 nickel."
3) "DUH!! The Gap is having a sale!"
4) "Did you know that it now costs 35 cents to make a phone call?"
5) "Thanks asshole...I had just made a wish that I could clean the fountain out and not get caught! Way to ruin that wish!!"
6) "Have you seen that really cool gumball machine in the food court? It rolls down a spiral ramp!"
7) "I'm at the last level of Mortal Kombat IV and I need another quarter."
8) "I'm trying to match the exact amount of your worthless paycheck you Barney Fife wannabe!"
9) "See..I need a quarter to make a phone call to my Kleptomaniacs Anonymous sponsor and that's why I'm stealing the quarters in the fountain. I NEED HELP MAN!!!"
10) "Ummmm...I'm looking for beer money?"
Points: 12 0 comments
10 signs ur getting old Dec 6, 2009
1) Your kids turn to you for help on their homework because they have to learn what an "album" was.
2) You ignore all that crap on TV and just watch TV Land 24 hours a day.
3) While clipping coupons, you stop and seriously pause at that "2 for 1" Depends coupon.
4) You pull a muscle in your back while stretching to turn the alarm clock off.
5) You're upset at the fact that you just plucked a white nasal hair.
6) Your back/knees have gone out more this year than you have socially.
7) Every once in a while, when the mood is right, you rekindle that fantasy you have involving the Laura Ingalls character on Little House on the Prairie running towards you in that cornfield at the end of the show.
8) You just heard your prom theme song....on Muzak...while in Aisle 6 at the grocery store.
9) How can I put this nicely...have you ever fallen asleep during Baywatch?
10) You've actually uttered the words: "TURN THAT HANSON CRAP DOWN!!!"
Points: 6 2 comments