A man is speeding to work one day when a state trooper pulls him over for speeding.
Trooper: Son, where were you going in such a hurry?
Man: I apologize officer, it's my first day on my new job as a rectum stretcher and I'm late.
Trooper (stunned): What the hell is a rectum stretcher?
Man: Well it's actually self-explanatory. We take small objects, insert them into the subject's rectum and gradually insert larger objects until the rectum is six feet in diameter.
Trooper: What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole?!?
Man: You give it a radar gun and put it on the side of the highway
