Instead of the date he was invited on last week by a Tinder chick named Laura, he told her "Oh, I can't go, I have....Coronavirus." The reality? He needed to play Frookies. It's the only way he can master the skill of cheating on the veto competitions. Laura, you dodged a bullet, baby! Once a cheater, always a cheater. Cheater on games, cheater on Laura! HE WOULD HAVE CHEATED ON YOU! And likely eaten all of the breadsticks before you at Olive Garden because his degree from UT clearly isn't working out so he has $4.89 in his bank account so he goes to Olive Garden, orders a water with fresh lemon (for his daily fruit serving) and then just eats the breadsticks and then he goes to the bathroom and plays Frookies from the stall and then he doesn't return to the table he sneaks out the window and makes you pay the tip because even though water with fresh lemon and breadsticks are complimentary, you are supposed to tip. It's common courtesy.
So yeah, Laura. You dodged a bullet.
(Not the Tinder Laura from this story but it is a girl named Laura)
