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Big Brother and online Hunger games.

"CLOSE": an original poem

Jul 13, 2020 by noobsmoke13
It's not that I want to die
it's that I wish I wasn't here
you might leave me like my mom did
and that's my biggest fear
she made it look so damn easy
and that made my worth clear
every month or so
things come crashing down
I wish anxiety would not interfere.

Sometimes it just hurts to breathe
and even harder to say what I need
I'm sick of living on the fence
what's the cost of an ounce of confidence?
and when exactly did my confidence dissippate?
I don't know if I believe in myself
so my faith tends to oscillate.

I don't want to be afraid of relationships
just because she left
I want to believe that I'm not her
I look just like her
so I cringe at my reflection
because of what she did to dad
and I don't know what to do
I just want to convince myself
that I'm not so bad
but back in May
I began to crash.

It feels like there's a monster
in my head and between my ears
I wish I learned to breathe a little
to settle childhood fears
it's not that I want to die
it's that I'm close to not being here.

Comments

this is well-written and deep! nice poem dude
Sent by 3pi14159,Jul 13, 2020

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