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Big Brother and online Hunger games.

"IMPOSTER": an original poem

Jun 19, 2020 by noobsmoke13
Alarm goes off
but I never went to sleep
just wanted to watch the sun rise
what the hell's so wrong with me?
my pastor said there would be days like these
my breaths are shallow
hell, I can't breathe.
I am begging my dark thoughts
to please just leave
when I look in the mirror
I don't see me
I see her
no I see a road too high to reach
I see too many disappointed people
who once believed in me
I swear I warned you
I remember that.

You looked me in the eyes
and said you saw something good
I cried that night
and said that I don't think you should.

You asked me why belief is so hard
and I did not have an answer.

Sometimes it feels like I'm not me.

My dad asked if I feel depressed
my ex said she hasn't met me yet
I asked myself why I deal those crushing blows
my other mouth told me it didn't know.

Why can't you accept yourself for what you are?
Why do your accomplishments fall on deaf ears,
yet the volume of your faults
are enough to crack glass?
How could you blame yourself
for things you could do nothing to stop?
You were just a kid,
there was nothing you could have done.
Sometimes I don't believe you're even listening
when I talk to you
you zone out
and the silence hurts in magnitudes
I miss when you were you
At least I know your parents do
they haven't seen you in days
you can't just close the door on people.
-------------------------------------------------------------
(NOTE: as some of my closer TG/ORG/Skype/Whatever friends know, I went through kind of a bout of "imposter syndrome." I emotionally crashed and was very MIA for a bit, kind of struggling to find purpose and actualize my accomplishments. I really just hit a rough patch. Through organizing protests and getting involved in an ORG I am in, I think I am on the other side of it but this is something I deal with. This was the third major crash I have had in the last two years. This poem was written about that experience. I hope y'all enjoy and are able to work through your own struggles. You're not alone and all that jazz :) )

Comments

This is really good dude
Sent by Memphis_Grizzlies,Jun 19, 2020

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