Been awhile since I posted something like this so uh here y'all go:
Looking over my shoulder
don't you know I'm growing older?
And my anxiety and paranoia
are growing up too
I hate you for not doing all the things
mothers are supposed to do
I cannot say I truly love you anymore
A relationship punctuated by slamming doors
If I blow up, don't call me
I ain't your damn son anymore
Wishing me happy birthday really ain't too much of a chore
and I tell me that every you forget
because I know your name is on my birth certificate
and that hurts
I just wish I didn't carry around this hate
But I still hate the way I feel
I hate the way I think
I hate the way I talk
Why the hell weren't you here to teach me how to walk?
Why the hell weren't you here to teach me to love myself?
until I learn how to do that,
can I learn to love someone else?
your parent didn't leave you,
you don't know how it felt
growing up and realizing my family was different
I just get sick to my stomach
thinking about my kids growing up exactly like me
but statistics show that broken homes breed broken homes
I just don't want to abandon them
or be forced to raise them on my own
but I don't believe I can do better than where I came from
I can't just forget where I got my name from or my shame from
I hate you but I miss you
I wish I could learn to leave all of my anger in the past tense
but I can't help but wonder
Why the hell weren't you here to teach me how to walk with confidence?
