Well, it has been awhile since I posted a new poem so here y'all go :)
some days I wonder
if I'll be in this position forever
laughing in the back of my head
trying to use what I've been given
second guessed my life a few times
still don't know why I'm living
maybe I am just naive
to believe
in better days
and American dreams
I close my eyes
and see
things so unforeseen
I don't want my kids
to grow up exactly like me
I want to give them everything
but instill in them
the lessons
I learned from nothing
now that's something
never got to feel entitled
with the hand I was dealt
playing 52 pickup
every month child support did not arrive
my mom missing so many birthdays
I wonder if she even knows I'm alive
statistics show
that broken homes breed broken homes
I don't want to abandon my kids
or raise them on my own
I don't want instability
I am sick of questioning my abilities
I want to love like my dad
who faced abuse for us
I want to love like my stepmom
who didn't have to be there
but was
I want to rise from what little
I have been given.
