Thirteen Ghosts Edgic
Apr 5, 2021
- Haven't watched this movie in 3? years but I just watched the Kill Count and this is what I remember the ghosts being:
The First Born Son - UTRP2
Doesn't do anything, forced P tone because he's a dead little kid.
The Torso - OTT1?
Torso is in the movie for all of 15 seconds for the SHEER purpose of shock value. Dad.
The Bound Woman - UTR1
Homegirl is so busy choking on her tongue that she gets one 2 second frame of her with such flashing lights around that there's barely a clear view of her. Would get INV if I was giving them out.
The Withered Lover - CPPP4
Plot device snoozefest xd mommy died
The Torn Prince - MORM2
Probably giving him this M tone comparatively to the other ghosts but he's just not threatening in the same way as the real villains of this movie. Douchey baseball player who torments the cast with his menacing baseball bat. I'll stan.
The Angry Princess - CPN5
She DELIVERS with the seductive, ethereal GHOST introduction early on into the movie. She's LITERALLY Parvati 2.0.
The Pilgrimess - UTR1
She has more of a breakout/antagonist appeal than The Bound Woman but they're both just there so the title could be stylized as Thir13en Ghosts and not E11ven Entities.
The Great Child - UTR1? MAYBE UTR2?
Shown more frequent than some other ghosts, but only with The Dire Mother in tow. He's menacing slightly because he's fucking humongous but lacks any depth or significance. He attacks nobody?
The Dire Mother - UTRP1
P tone by default cuz mommy edit. Small statured and comparatively innocent/inoffensive. She sits there and sees if she wins basically.
The Hammer - OTTN5
Aggressive and scary looking, reminds me of Kane from See No Evil
The Jackal - OTTNN5
Honestly? An absolute STAPLE to the movie. You know I LOVEEEEEE a good laugh chile and seeing reverse bear trap dude scratch Shannon Elizabeth's face and drag her down a hallway was GOOD FUCKING TV
The Juggernaut - OTTNN5
I was conflicted about giving him CP, but the opening scene of the movie with the whole junkyard shenanigans kinda did him in. That + he's the 12th of the 12 precaptured ghosts to make his appearance in the house which is supposed to be a big drama third act moment. Big fan of seeing him crunch Matthew Lillard's spine into dust.
The Broken Heart - CPP5
Completely phoned in and not really a GHOST but given the description of this wack ass pussy suck on the titty character what other edit could I give him?
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