Yes, I'm completely serious. You see, I'm not who you all think I am. Not at all.
Currently, I'm a writer for The ABC, living in a small studio apartment, always looking for the next big story, barely scraping by sometimes. I was asked a few years ago by my editor to do a piece on the so-called 'blog' community on Tengaged that seems to become more and more popular by the day. Initially, I was intrigued. The humor was bizzare, yet interesting. Nonsensical, yet genius. I spent several months interacting with people I had never met before in my life, learning the culture, what was "cool" and what wasn't.
Eventually, I began to make my own blogs, testing the waters now and then. And eventually my own blogs started getting noticed, and maybe for a minute or two I understood why you all do this. But that didn't last long. And with time, I began to notice how stale the content truly was. How the same 'memes' could be spammed over and over again, and still get massive amounts of attention. And I also began to notice something else.
The viciousness with which you attacked each other.
The semi-constant bullying and harassment. Each day, it made me even more sickened than before, to the point where you people made me start questioning everything about reality and what I knew about it. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I was drinking 2 bottles of whiskey every night. But, finally, my mission is complete. Tomorrow, we will be publishing a comprehensive article about this account, potentially exposing some of your guys' most well kept secrets. I'm deactivating this account at midnight, but before I do, I just want to let you know you all make me sick.
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I'm deactivating this account at midnight, but before I do, I just want to let you know you all make me sick.
